The Fine Art Of “Dirty Macking”

The lovely ladies aren't the only ones who have a problem with Kevin Samuels

Don't hate the player; hate the game!
                                                                                     Don’t hate the player; hate the game!

“Attempting to mack on another person’s significant other by talking bad about them behind their back.”
-Urban Dictionary

Although it appears to have (finally?) settled down as spring approaches, the soon to be over winter season of 2020-2021 has brought a torrent of outrage against “Saint Kevin” Samuels, corporate and professional image consultant by day, and de facto “Black Love” expert by night on his wildly popular live shows airing on YouTube and Instagram. That there would be a goodly number of Black women in particular voicing their opposition to him is completely understandable; after all, his laser-focus on his late-night shows have been the lovely ladies. But there have also been a not insignificant number of Black men who can be heard online bemoaning their displeasure at Mr. Samuels as well – often under the rubric of “honesty, character and integrity”. One individual in particular over the past month, even made a bit of a splash by coming forward claiming that he “had the goods” on Mr. Samuels and then proceeded to give a litany of alleged moral failings on the part of the internet sensation. Calling himself “Air Yoda” and declaring himself a dating and relationship expert, he marked himself out as a rival to Samuels and proceeded to disparage him with all manner of charges that he was a child support deadbeat, that he was neglectful of his daughter, and that he was an overall “bad man”. “Air Yoda” disappeared back into the social ether as quickly as he appeared – but the whole scenario only served as a popwerful, real time demonstration writ large of a practice known on the streets as “dirty macking” – which has a deeply profound, evolutionary and scientific basis when it comes to dating and mating.

What, exactly is “dirty macking” – why do at least some Black men engage in it – and what does any of that have to do with Samuels, dating in general and science in particular? Read on to find out!

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We’ve all heard it before and have seen it in real time at least once – the putdown, the slur, uttered by one romantic rival and aimed at another, done in the hope that such a manueuver would bring about the desired result of getting the object of one’s desires to lose interest in said rival. Well, as it turns out, science has also documented and confirmed this phenomenon, known in the scientific literature as “derogation of competitors” – “dirty macking” if you will. Let’s check in with the more formal breakdown of all this, by going to the now-classic text on the matter, “The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating”, beginning on pp. 97:

“Attracting a mate, however, does not occur in a social vacuum.
Desirable partners elicit intense social competition for their favors.
Successful attraction therefore depends not merely upon providing signals
that one will fulfill a potential mate’s desires, but also on counteracting
the seductive Signals of rivals. Humans have evolved a method
for running interference that is unique in the animal kingdom-the
verbal derogation of competitors. The put-down, the slur, and the
insinuation that damage a rival’s reputation are all part of the process of
successfully attracting a mate.”

David M. Buss, Prof. of Evolutionary Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and author of the above cited work, continues:

“Derogatory tactics, like tactics of attraction, work because they exploit
the psychological mechanisms that predispose persons of the opposite
sex to be sensitive to certain valuable qualities in possible mates, such as
their resources or appearance. A man’s communication to a woman that
his rival lacks ambition can be effective only if the woman is predisposed
to reject men who have a low potential for acquiring resources. Similarly,
a woman’s remark to a man that her rival is sexually promiscuous
can work only if men are predisposed to reject women who do not
devote themselves sexually to one man.”

Let’s continue, shall we?

“Men also derogate their rival’s resources. In the studies of derogation,
we first secured eighty-three nominations from college students
about the ways in which men and women put down or denigrate a
member of their own sex to make the person less attractive to members
of the opposite sex. Typical behavior includes spreading false
rumors about a rival, making fun of a rival’s appearance, scoffing at a
rival’s achievements, and telling others that a rival has a sexually transmitted
disease. As it did with the attraction tactics, our research team
classified these actions into twenty-eight categories. For example, the
category of derogating a competitor’s intelligence includes the actions
of making the rival seem dumb, telling others that the rival is stupid,
and mentioning that a rival is an “airhead.” Subsequently, 100 married
couples and 321 unmarried university students evaluated each tactic
for its overall effectiveness, its effectiveness in temporary versus committed
relationships, and its frequency of use by themselves, their
friends, and their spouses.”

Buss goes on to give more details about the unique human mating phenomenon of “derogation of competitors” – or for purposes of today’s column, “dirty macking” – but by now you get the point. Science has irrefutably confirmed an age old practice out here on these streets – and now we can see how and why Black men like “Air Yoda” would feel some kind of way toward Mr. Samuels.

But wait, there’s more!

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Nothing scientific here, but one thing I had noticed over the past few months of certain Black men coming forward to “dirty mack” on Samuels, was that they tended to hail from a particular demographic, based on their dress, manner of bearing and so on: Either they presented as “street dudes”, like “Air Yoda”; or they were “reformed” Select Fuckboys like Derrick Jaxn, the latter of whom happens to have a significantly higher profile and social media impact, and who has made at least the better part of half a dozen “response” videos “sneak dissing” Samuels (his latest shameful attempt, being “Tyrese’s (Ex)Wife Says You Should NOT Date “High Value Men”, Mar 13, 2021, YouTube).

Over the past few years, there has been intense debate among Black men on these two types of Black men, who have to be honest, dominated the attentions of the lovely ladies of da communitah and have in a very real sense, set the terms and parameters of the ways in which “Black Love discourse” is conducted. Indeed, the Black Manosphere has become something of a haven for Non-Select Guys” to gather, commiserate and trade notes on their experiences and observations in this regard – as well as to make it abundantly clear to everyone, that the problems Black women have bemoaned lo these many years, have NOT been due to “educated lames” and the like – but rather, to the very types and kinds of Black men they get turned on by, turn to for “advice” and indeed, even reproduce with(!).

And, despite all attempts to the contrary, the Black Manosphere has made headway on this front – so much so, that the hunters have now become the hunted – and that is in no small part due to Saint Kevin. Presenting as impeccably dressed, well spoken and refreshingly candid, Samuels was just what the doctor ordered to cut through the BS the Pookies and Reformed Select Fuckboys that make up the rank and file of the Black Love Experts have been laying down in more ways than one for decades. The Black Manosphere found a powerful ally in Samuels, who could empathize with their concerns, while at the same time demanding that they become the best version of themselves. On top of all this, Samuels then tossed his hat into the Black Love arena, achieving in record time what “self love ambassadors” couldn’t in nearly a decade previous – actually getting Black men and women together. In one fell swoop, Samuels presented a powerful challenge to the status quo – which totally explains how and why the “Air Yodas” and Derrick Jaxns of the world couldn’t sit idly by – they had to do some serious dirty macking!

But does it – will it – work?

With over half a million subscribers and followers on YouTube and Instagram respectively at present, up from a mere 50K or less on both only a year ago and a groundswell consensus being that he’s likely to crack a cool million on both platforms before year’s end, to ask the question is to answer it. Derogating, or “dirty macking” on competitors only works if the ladies care about what said dirty macks are accusing their rivals of. With over 20K live viewers on last night’s YouTube show alone as I write this in mid-March, 2021, I think we can safely say that the lovely ladies continue to vote with their feet – among other things. Which brings me to my final point…

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If there’s anything to be learned from “Air Yoda”‘s and Derrick Jaxn’s antics in this episode regarding Mr. Samuels, it’s that such derogatory tactics rarely if ever work. This is because what both Black men failed to take into account in their dirty macking attempts on Samuels, is that neither actually put forward a superior program or even argument, for which the lovely ladies can then choose. Both men either forgot, or never learned, the Theory of Sexual Selection.

Put forth by Charles Darwin in his magnum opus “On Origin of Species”, Darwin came up with the theory of sexual selection after noting that his previously derived theory of natural selection couldn’t account for and explain the phenemona he was observing and documenting when it came to the mating rituals and goings on among the various animals he’d studied. One thing he found to be hugely important, was that the female of just about any animal species on the planet were much more choosier about whom they mated with, than the males; that they cared a lot more about resources than the males did; and that they in fact, were the key engine of reproduction on planet Earth(!).

This is why “males display, and females choose” – and why “Air Yoda” and Mr. Jaxn have utterly failed in their attempts to dethrone Mr. Samuels: Because neither have presented to the lovely ladies a better mousetrap that is superior to the one Mr. Samuels has created. All they could do is cast aspersions onto Mr. Samuels, misrepresent his positions and outright slander him – and the lovely ladies can and have seen right through that one. The viewer and subscriber counts are clear and present proof of that.

Throughout the planet’s various animal species, males compete for mates – be that flashy, showy displays like the peacock, or be it in going “head to head” like a ram – and the females choose from among the winners of the competition. Why would it be any different for the lovely ladies? If “Air Yoda” and/or Derrick Jaxn were truly interested in getting rid of Mr. Samuels as a competitor, they would beat him – but they can’t – and have resorted to “dirty macking” (read: Derogating a competitor) to get er done.

Only it didn’t.

Let this then be a lesson to all who enter this dojo: Dirty macking never works. Only building a better mousetrap than the other guy, does. The lovely ladies will be able to tell the difference and decide for themselves.

Here then is the end of today’s lesson.

Now adjourn your asses…


Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, commentator, newly minted dating coach and author of “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”. You can catch his daily live shows on YouTube & Mixlr, as well as his dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. One of the “Three Kings” of the Black Manosphere, Mr. Ali has contributed to the creation and development of Black Male Media. Follow him on Instagram at @ObsidianRadio. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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