The Hole- Part 2: Pregame

The Hole
Part 2

I contacted her a little bit before the pregame at her place she invited me to–around 6 to 7 pm after her text (which I stated in part 1 was at 5:12 pm)

“Hey are you in the middle of something right now?” I asked.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” She said in a hurried voice.

“I wanted to talk to you about last night, but I didn’t think I was in the right place.”

“Last night?”

“Yea, when you went out of town with your roommates to Delaware. I happened to get up with a tummy ache ten minutes after you texted me and I was concerned when you texted me and told me that you took too many shots and then there were major breaks in our communication stream. ”

“Yeah, I got super drunk the other night– I’m still a little off kilter.”

“Well my reason for bringing that up is that you texted me at 1:30 am and I replied at 1:40 and then didn’t reply to me until 8:29 the next day–later on that day rather.”

“Sorry babe, I was passing in and out of consciousness (she confirmed my previous thoughts). Megan and I crashed on the couch, my phone died, and I kept passing out at brunch. I was like this until we got back at 3 pm. And I was getting stuff ready for tonight and-”

“Never mind that, my whole point for bringing this up is that I want to know if you hooked up with anybody last night.”

“Babe, all we did was talk about nerdy stuff and dance around the living room in our costumes.”

“Well, all I’m saying, is that you remember our agreement,if you ever want to hookup with someone else, let me know. Just like the conversation we had when I came back from Miami and you asked me if I had “extra fun” there.”

“No–nothing happened I just passed out on the couch with Megan.”

I shook our conversation off–thinking that I didn’t have a reason previously to accuse her of something, so I just decided to let bygones be bygones and get ready for the party. But first to pregame at her place. When I got to her place and she answered the door she exclaimed:

“Oh-my-God! It’s the Donald!”

When she saw I was dressed up in a Point Break esque outfit with a Donald Trump mask. She grabbed me and gave me a full on hug batting her eyes at me. Any anxiety from the earlier interaction was quelled as she held me–she knew exactly how to handle me, to my chagrin. I basically melted there–at almost every interaction because I was starving for affection.

She introduces me to her roomates, an Indian guy we’ll call “Sundeep” and “Megan” a white girl. I forgot to give her a name–let’s call my shorty “Tweetz”. As Tweetz introduces me to her roomates, she’s linked arm in arm with me. Again, I just went with the flow. Her roomates are amiable. At this point we all toast. I took it easy with some wine, but shorty went straight to the head with a shot. I wasn’t really phased, but I did notice as her roomates didn’t take shots right away and she was the only one to throw one back.

“Hey, where’s the bathroom?” I asked her because I had to piss like a racehorse.

“C’mere, let me show you.”

She grabs me by the hand and walks me to her bedroom. It’s very spacious with a master bathroom. The bathroom was in a private hall that was separated by the bedroom by a walk-in closet. I noticed birth control pills on her sink. I thought to myself:  “Good she’s still on the pill”

I commenced to take a leak with the door open and she enters the sink area next to the toilet and begins to add finishing touches to her costume. She was dressed like Harley Quinn. Honestly, she looked whoreish, but hey Halloween is the perfect excuse to dress like a hoe. I flushed and went to wash my hands in the sink as she was checking her makeup in the mirror.

After I washed my hands, I took a look around the bedroom and realize she had prepared it almost hotel -like with blankets folded and I think there was incense in the air. As I marveled at what she had put together, I went up behind her and held her by the waist.

” You know, your room looks professionally done.”

I said as I kissed her cheek and neck.

“Oh yeah?”

She said as she turned to face me. She continued:

“I actually was anticipating that you could spend the night here for the first time.”


She pulled me in for a face-to-face kiss. We make out a little with her back to the sink. After we part our lips we look at each other for a moment, seemingly looking into each other’s soul.

“Oops, let me take my pill before I forget.”

She said as she turned around and popped one of her pills.

I smiled to myself, thinking I was definitely going to deliver a game-changing creampie that night. We kissed again and at the break she announced

“C’mon babe, we can’t leave my roommates hangin’ ”

“Oh yeah, your roomates. Meh.”

She gave me a playful smack on the butt. I noticed her lipstick was smeared off by the kissing.

“You’re gonna hafta redo you’re makeup.”

“Anything you say, Mr. President.”

After we straighten oursleves out, we head back into the living room area, where Megan and Sundeep are now dressed in their costumes. Megan is wearing a leotard and Sundeep a cape with a printout on its rear. Tweetz sees alcohol and prepares herself a shot. I look at Megan’s costume as it reminded me of something from my past.

“So, you’re umm.. Supposed to be the flashdancer?” I asked her jokingly.

“What? Who’s that?”

After Tweetz gulps down a shot she speaks.

“You’re aging yourself babe. They’re about 10 years younger than you.”

“Ha-ha” I said sarcastically.

“No, I’m a GLOW wrestler from Netflix.” Megan replied.

“Georgeous Ladies Of Wrestling?! I used to watch that show as a kid–so are you Tina Ferrari?” I asked.


“Ooh- ooh! You watch South Park?” Sundeep asked me interrupting.

“Here and there-”

“Cool! can you guess who I am?”

I took a look at Sundeep’s costume–he sports a red cape with a computer printout of EYEBALLS on the part of the cape that’s on his butt. Tweetz takes another shot in the background, and I’m starting to be wary of the rate at which she is consuming alcohol, but distracted by the conversation. I turn my attention back to Sundeep.

“Give me a clue.”

Before he can answer, Tweetz steps in.

“Oooh! Ooh! Scharades! Me likey! Okay, ready– two words-”

Sundeep cosigns on Tweetz’s enthusiasm.

“The first word is synonymous with the pilot of a ship.”

“Uhh–admiral?” I ask.

Tweetz: No silly, think of one of the famous diabetes inducing cereals-

Sundeep: It rhymes with “laughin”

Me: Ohh “Captain”!

Sundeep: Right. Now the second word-

Sundeep was interrupted by Tweetz bumping into him to pour wine in a glass. She’s becoming more playful and somewhat annoying. He picks up where he left off.

Sundeep: The second word-

Sundeep turns around to stick his butt out and points to the computer printout of a bunch of eyeballs on the ass region– he points to it like a hoochie mama pointing to her own ass while twerkin’.

Me: Uhh “Captain Butt-eye?”

Sundeep: Nope.

Tweetz sticks her face in between Sundeep’s booty and my view. She’s clearly buzzing.

Tweetz: It is said that his type of vision is always 20/20.

Me: I get it.. Captain Hindsight!

After our little game, Tweetz gets flirtatious.

“Ding ding ding! You win the prize!” She said as she got closer to me.

“And what might that be? ” I said as I moved my face close to hers calling her bluff. But she moves away to grab a bottle of

“Goldschlager!” She shouts as she starts pouring shots. I look at her like she’s trippin’.

“Hey babe, isn’t this supposed to be a “pregame”? Don’t you think you’re going a little too hard–I mean we still have a party to go to-”

Just then Megan enters the area with a bong. “Elevation anyone? ” she says as she holds it to the sky like She-Ra holding a sword to Castle Greyskull. We all look at each other like “hell yeah”.

As we smoke, we watch the YouTube video of the fat Polynesian dude playing the ukulele and singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” at some point. Tweets picks up her own ukulele and plays right along. I was amazed that she knew how to play it at first, but then my paranoid mind started thinking about all of the things she learned how to do/be/have that probably came from some guy who wanted to get in her pants teaching her. My mind started to play the “self-deprecating” channel. Then there was a “ding” and Tweetz looks down at her phone.

“Hey guys we gotta get moving, the Uber driver’ll be here in 2 minutes, and it’ll take us about 15 minutes to get to the party”.

We all got up to exit, and as we started to leave, all I did was look at that perfectly made bed and imagine that the night had come to a close and she and I were back in the bed enjoying each other’s bodies. But I had to go through the social shit test first. Ugh. The price that men pay.

[To be continued–stay tuned for “Clowned”]


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