Many years ago, a guy was recommended by his friend to a rich man for a job. The rich man employed him in his organization and was paying him decently and promptly. Few months into the job, the newly-employed guy started asking his boss to fund his personal dreams and desires, just because he felt the boss was rich. This was what his friend had never done, even though he had known the rich man for many years.
Initially, the rich man didn’t like what the new guy was doing because he felt the guy wanted to take advantage of him. He saw the new guy as an opportunist who had only come to feast on him. Eventually, the new guy was fired by the rich boss after a little misunderstanding, which could be connected to the new guy’s requests. The guy couldn’t maintain a valuable relationship for one year because of his personal desires.
We need to understand that people don’t care about you until they know that you care about them. You must build relationships to a certain level before you start asking for things. And even when you ask, think about what the person you are asking stands to gain too. You shouldn’t expect people to be spending their resources on you without getting anything back in return. Even in Freetown, nothing is entirely free.
We poor people don’t understand a lot of things. We always want rich people to finance our dreams and projects but we don’t always think about what the rich will get in return. Do we think the rich are stupid? Do we think they are ignorant? People won’t invest in something that won’t bring them any gains. It is the reality about life. When entering into any relationship, think about what you can offer, not only about what you can get.
And, another thing, most people can’t keep a relationship for long because they don’t understand courtesy and respect. They don’t understand life’s etiquettes. They lack manners. They don’t know how to talk or approach people. It is a turn-off. A red flag that can chase benefactors away. You must learn how to talk with maturity and diplomacy. You must know how to hold conversations intelligently without disrespecting people.
Not everyone can stand disrespectful attitude. Once they detect it in you, they will walk away, even without talking. If you attended primary school for six years, secondary school for six years, and tertiary institution for at least four years, you must have been able to pick some things from life that you were not taught in the classroom. It is where some people get it wrong. They are educated in school but not educated in life.
Everything is about mutual respect and mutual gain. If you want to have lasting relationships and friendships with people, don’t just think about yourself, think about the other person too. Think about value. Think about what you are bringing to the table. If you keep taking from people without bringing anything to the table, they will avoid you and discard you eventually. Don’t always think about what you will get, think about what you will offer as well.
Understand that when you keep taking from people without giving anything in return, you are a parasite. And nobody likes associating with a parasite. You may feed off people temporarily, but you will be discarded eventually, because you have nothing to offer. It is one of the reasons some people keep jumping from one relationship to another, blaming people for their misfortunes, not knowing they are the parasite.
In Biology, a parasite is an organism living in, on, or with another organism in order to obtain nutrients, grow, or multiply, often in a state that directly or indirectly harms the host. There are parasitic human beings too. They are people living off of, being dependent on, or exploiting another person while giving little or nothing in return. All they think about is what to get. They don’t understand the law of mutual benefit. They are greedy and self-centered.