The Myth Of The “Big Booty Brenda Cartel”: A Reply To Mr. Tony Maceo

“Master Kenobi, you disappoint me. Yoda holds you in such high esteem. Surely, you can do better!”
-Count Dooku

As I expected, my latest column raising the question as to the existence of a so-called “non-select guy tax” certainly generated lots of heat but apparently not much in the way of light – at least if last Monday night’s fiasco of a live show on Oshay Duke Jackson’s YouTube channel is anything to go by. Joined on the air by the inspiration of said column, one Mr. Tony Maceo, the conversation quickly devolved into the usual kinds of incoherent shouting matches that are unfortunately par for the course in current day Black America online and off. I much prefer that kind of “dialogue” not to be the case and for things to be much more dispassionate and focused on the facts – but Mr. Maceo, sadly, disagreed. Right from the start his personal attacks, over-talking me every chance he got and erratic emotive behavior, sullied what would have otherwise been an exchange of ideas on one of the hottest topics in the Black Manosphere to date – that of “select” and “non-select” Black men – and whether the hype lives up to the reality for either side.

In that Mr. Maceo, both on air and now in print in his rebuttal to my column, “Is There A Such Thing As A Non-Select Guy Tax”, has admitted that such a “tax” has no compulsory teeth for the simple reason that non-select Black men are not bound to “pay” and can simply walk away – and, given that, in the aforementioned Monday night fiasco, Mr. Maceo has also admitted that he feels that the entire “select/non-select” dichotomy is a false one – it all begs the question: exactly what IS Tony Maceo’s point? I don’t know about all of you, but it feels a heck of a lot more personal than he’s willing to let on. In today’s column, yours truly will respond to the major points and themes in Mr. Maceo’s rebuttal, with a bit of speculation of my own as to HIS motivations. After all, given all the speculation he’s done regarding my own, turnabout is only fair play, right?

So, with all that said, let’s begin!

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Maceo is right in his recounting of our recent exchange on “The Daily Roast” and my supposed “daily antics” – but therein lies the rub. Because said “antics” centered around a podcast apology of mine to one Mr. Derrick Jaxn; you see, I’d viewed a recent longform interview of Jaxn and found that because of his statements about himself, that I was wrong about him. Contrary to my previous belief that Jaxn was indiscriminately lambasting Black men on a whole, in truth he was “telling on himself” as a Reformed Fuckboy. Indeed, his confession only sharpened the “select/non-select guy” focus for me and set me on my current writing course. On the day in question, I relayed these sentiments on-air and the response I got from my co-host and a number of others in the listening audience, was that I was somehow putting forth the idea of a dishonest “apology” that was really a thinly-veiled insult towards Jaxn. While I could certainly see how others may interpret it that way, the fact remains that by his own testimony – and by comparison to my own life’s actions toward Black women – Jaxn and I are NOTHING alike at all. And yes, that my behaviors were BETTER than his.

It was at this point that Maceo sprang into action – but WHY? After all, I’ve been nothing but laudatory of his personal life decisions, even going so far as to put my thoughts down in podcast form. For the record, being “a live and let live” kind of guy, not only do not I see anything “wrong” with Maceo’s “I Got $75 USD” lifestyle, but enthusiastically support it, for a very simple reason: Freedom of Association. So long as the two parties are of legal age of consent and have settled upon the terms of interaction, I’m all for what Maceo and whoever lady he partners with wishes to do. Nor do I lambaste Maceo for his liking for “hoodrat chicks” – to each his own, I say! Unfortunately, Maceo doesn’t seem to be as open-minded when it comes to yours truly. One must question why?

So, when Maceo speaks of my “personal antics”, exactly what is he talking about, since said “antics” cannot include him? Why is he bothered by what I said about Jaxn that day? And why does he seem to show up at the exact same time that Ms. Nicole Michelle? What is up with that? Perhaps Maceo has answers to these questions…

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Let’s now examine some of the claims made in Mr. Maceo’s rebuttal, shall we? Time and space won’t permit me to reply in detail to everything Maceo said, but the following “big three ticket items” will suffice:

1. The Civil War Tax Of 1861: While I will freely admit to not being a Civil War historian, I know enough about it and American civics to know that, while US Senators at the time weren’t elected (they were appointed by governors), EVERY Congressman was and remains elected BY THE PEOPLE. That means, that if a particular Congressman voted in favor of a tax in peacetime or war that the citizens in his district disagreed with, said citizens in his district have a chance to VOTE THE BUM OUT as Congressmen are (re)elected every two years. Being that this is the case, YES, taxes are indeed subject by the approval of the governed – the sine qua non of consensual societies like the United States.

2. With Regard To Ms. “Juicy”: This speaks to the one young Black lady Maceo mentions in his rebuttal, who is part of a larger study called, “Black Women with Multiple Sex Partners”. According to this, Maceo asserts that there “must be” well-heeled Black men in the tonier parts of NYC that are “paying to keep” Ms. Juicy. Alas, the actual study itself makes no such claim and Juicy herself doesn’t identify such Black men – so the question has to be asked: WHY does Maceo believe this?

We know from studies of assortative mating, that people – men and women alike – tend to mate and partner with people who are more like themselves, than not – including shared cultural values and even to some degree, appearance. Charles Murray, among a great many others, discusses this at length in his excellent 2010 work, “Coming Apart: The State Of White America, 1960-2010”. Of particular import regarding today’s discussion, is the section of the book by Murray called, “The College Sorting Machine” – an simple argument that asserts, with much supporting evidence, that highly educated men and women simply do NOT live among or socialize with folks in the proverbial ‘hood – and this goes for both Black AND White, as Bart Landry makes clear in his excellent work, “The New Black Middle Class”. Also of high interest is Northwestern scholar Mary Patillo’s critically acclaimed “Black on the Block: The Politics of Race and Class in the City”, as well as Elijah Anderson’s classics, “Streetwise” and “Code Of The Street”. All of these works make clear that contrary to popular opinion – especially in Black American circles – that in truth, social classes exist and if anything, has calcified and become a lot less porous in more recent decades at the close of the 20th century and the dawn of the 21st. All of this to say, that it is highly unlikely that, say, a John McWhorter-type guy is gonna be “creepin'” with “Juicy”. I’m sorry Tony, but life just doesn’t work that way in the main. “Juicy” is very likely being financed by the same kinds of guys that her man in the joint is – working in the black market (read: criminal), living on the edge, one day at a time, making some measure of fast money that by definition, isn’t built to last.

3. Numbers: Tony makes a lot of hay out of non-select guys grousing over “Big Booty Brenda” curving them for whatever reason – but, as always, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence – and as per usual, Maceo misses the mark by a country mile. He has presented ZERO in the way of empirical or even substantial anecdotal evidence, that what he asserts is indeed the case. Moreover, when it comes to Black America in particular, why any Black man, “select”, or “non-select”, should give a whit over ONE Black women turning him down for his invitation of sexual companionship strikes this particular author as extremely odd in the face of the fact that there are what, some TWO MILLION MORE BLACK WOMEN THAN BLACK MEN? Isn’t this what Black women themselves who have the bully pulpit of the digital public square tell us all the time? It is certainly the case at all the various “meet market” social mixer events designed to bring Black men and women together (almost always of the professional class) – it is NOT at all unusual to have sex ratios of as much as SEVEN Black women to every ONE Black man, unless strong and deliberate care is made to even the sexes out numerically. Simply put, the idea that well-educated and successful Black men – or even successful tradesmen Black men such as yours truly – is pining away for “Big Booty Brenda”, sounds a lot more like some pop fiction Omar Tyree might write, than anything in actual fact.

Moreover – as the title to today’s column makes clear, as I’ve noted in my previous article and which Maceo himself has fully agreed – Black women are patently unable, individually or as a collective “cartel”, to impose ANY “prices”, or “fees”, or “taxes” onto so-called “non-select” Black men, for the simple reason that said “non-select” Black men can and will simply vote with their feet and head for a better deal elsewhere – be that short or long term. The fact that Black women taken together as a group, remain the least partnered, most divorced, most Baby Mama’d group of women in the country by a wide margin, really tells one all they need to know on this topic. Indeed, the fact that Black women can themselves be heard caterwauling about the paucity of Black men available to protect and provide for them in various guises – with the latest iterations being a return to “chivalry” and “getting the bag” (cough, Nicole Michelle, cough), again, only underscores the point being made here. Simply put, Black women NEED Black men more, than the other way around – and ESPECIALLY the supposed “non-select” Black men, because of their particular skillsets. “Select fuckboys” don’t good hubbies, daddies and even relationship partners make, all things being equal.

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At this time I would like to now turn the course of this reply from rebutting Maceo’s points, to doing a bit of speculation of my own as to his motivations, since his actions seem quite odd in light of the aforementioned points in this article. It occurs to me that, contrary to his exhortations, that it is Maceo that is projecting his own worldview onto others and namely, ME. Why he does this is unknown and I leave it to readers to postulate their own theories; with all that being said, I conclude today’s column on the following three points.

First, while it is clear in Maceo’s piece that HIS particular focus is short term sex, it cannot be said enough that this is NOT the view of ALL or even MOST Black men. Indeed, as Howard University Prof. Ivory Toldson makes clear by way of an NPR poll, quite a few Black men DO want long term relationships and even marriage – and I would know about the former, as I’ve had quite a few such LTRs in my life to present. Add to this the fact that in a ubiquitous “hookup” society, those who do so actually WANT committed relationships and things are in no way as dire or black and white as Maceo tries to make it appear. I know by what I speak: I got with my ladyfriend on a purely hookup basis; a month later, I made the decision that we would be a “steady couple” and we’ve been that way ever sincea clear and present case of the so-called “non-select guy” being in the driver’s seat when it came to long term commitment.

Second, newsflash Tony, but there IS life “beyond the ‘hood”. I say this because YOU seem to believe that the world starts and stops at the hood’s edge and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Take your notion that because yours truly likes “Big Booty Brenda types” that, ergo, I must like hoodrat chick types – such a notion is absurd on its face. Especially since, by your own admission, YOU DON’T KNOW THE PINUP GIRLS I’VE POSTED ALONG WITH MY PODCASTS. You have no idea as to their backgrounds, educational levels, NOTHING – and in fact, quite a few Instagram Model types come from suburban environments and hold college degrees(!). It is NOT at all unusual, bro. It’s just that you need to get out more. A lot more.

Third and finally, here’s the truth about Mumia Obsidian Ali: I am the textbook definition of the underdog. Without a college degree and only a high school diploma with a life spent in the blue collar trades, I am able to walk among the giants of the Black world due to my commitment to the development of my mind to the best it can be. I’ve rubbed shoulders with dignitaries and luminaries, have spent evenings at yacht parties and kicked it with certified millionaires – and when it came to the ladies, I’ve certainly known my fair share of hotties, too. My current ladyfriend is a case in point: for starters, SHE APPROACHED ME, didn’t “charge me” for it and only wanted to jump my bones because she thought that I looked good to her and that I was smart (non-select guy IQ for the win!). She’s suburban, middle class raised, 5’10”, built like an Amazon, workouts daily to the tune of many miles a day, played basketball and volleyball at the high school and collegiate levels and attended a top ten elite university according to the US News & World Report rankings – undergrad and grad. She’s turned down offers to be a model recently, too. She is what self-made Black men like me get: attractive, accomplished, feminine, cooperative Black women who want to be on the winning team in life. And I am living proof that “non-select guys” CAN win – which is the reason why I write this dating coach column every week.

I know, Tony – stranger things have happened. God bless America!

Now adjourn your asses (I see it’s starting to catch on!),


Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host and newly minted dating coach. You can catch his daily live shows on Mixlr, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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