The (Not So) Fine Art Of Arguing “In Mala Fide”

“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”

Unless you’ve been living under a rock supping on murky water over the past four months, you by now are quite aware of the hornet’s nest I’ve managed to stir up over on YouTube, the world’s largest social media platform. It serves as the (current) home of what has become known as “the Black Manosphere” – a rough analogue to the White one and which serves a similar purpose: to cater to the needs, interests and concerns of Black men.

Or should I say Black men of a certain stripe.

I say that because that has been the basis of what has become known as the “Select/Non-Select Guy Debate” – terms originally coined by Black male dating and mating coaching fixture Mr. Rom Wills. I’ve appropriated the terms to forge a real conversation along these lines: see, it has long been my view, that a not insiginificant contingent of Black women (numbering in the millions if measures of social media footprints, books, movie and seminar ticket sales and the like are anything to go by), as well as a small number of “select” Black men, have essentially hamstrung the conversation on dating, mating and related issues in contemporary Black American life – I even call it a “nonversation”, because it has kept Black men like me out of it. You know, the everyday, smart, decent, law-abiding brotha. I’m not much for conspiracy theories, but after many, many years of studying these and related phenomena in Black America life along these lines, I have come believe – with some evidence, I might add – that what I have come to call the Black Male Relationship Expert Industrial Complex – itself part and parcel of Black Vaginavision Media itself – does indeed seem to have a vested interest in keeping voices from mine from being at the table and being heard. So much for diversity, huh?

So, what does a smart, enterprising brotha like yours truly do in the face of such fierce resistance?

Make my own table.

And with that table, I have put arguments, questions and positions on it that have until now, rarely if ever been heard to a wider public in the light of day. Anyone that is familiar with my handiwork on YouTube and more recently Mixlr, will know well my position regarding “Black Female Fuckery”; in more recent months, I have turned my laser focus on the self-proclaimed/described “select guys” for examination and if necessary, critique. Indeed, the entire purpose of this very column you are reading right now, serves that aim.

So, it would make perfect sense that the loyal opposition wouldn’t take it lying down – and why should they? After all, not only am I questioning “the game” in Black American life and the highly dysfunctional nature of the relationship between most Black women and a small minority of Black men; but my open questioning of such a situation – and the very real potential of my ability to sway other Black men to my side – has formed up the opposition to me like the proverbial Voltron. Threatened that their interests were at stake, they have come for me with both barrels blazing. I welcome their hatred.

Then along comes one Mr. Tony Maceo – Mr. “I Got $75” himself. Stating that he not only has no interest in the current debate or the concepts and arguments that undergird it, Maceo goes a step further, stating that he thinks that the idea on its face is ridiculous. In light of these facts then, one must ask: why is he so gung ho in coming after me? We really do not disagree on the fundamentals in question – he has gone on record in agreeing with me that the current Black American mating landscape is incredibly fucked up (as his column last week clearly attests to; more on this in a bit). But, more than that, he has praised me for being in a position to, and I quote now, “afford being honest”. You see, according to the revealed “street wisdom” of Mr. Maceo, the vast majority of Black Americans simply cannot afford such a luxury, because they’re, you know, Black. And presumably poor (Nevermind the over $1T USD/year consumer spending power of Black America. Nothing to see there; these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.). It is for these and other reasons, I suppose, that raises Mr. Maceo’s hackles – but again, why? He literally has no dog in either the “Great Pookie & Ray-Ray Debate” nor the current “Select/Non-Select Guy Debate” fights – he simply does his thing, pays his $75 USD to the hoodrat of his choice, they do what they do and that’s it. Something that I have gone on record in fully endorsing, I might add.

One gets the sense that this is more than merely a debate over principles, but rather something deeply personal – and, because I’m a good sport, I’ve decided to play it off.

Until now.

In today’s column, your correspondent will address and put to bed every “point”(?) Mr. Maceo has raised in his recent, “Never Play Chess With Pigeons” column. Somebody’s gotta take out the trash.

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After several paragraphs of engaging in rank ad hominem, Mr. Maceo revisits what is now by now an old chestnut – the “Non-Select/Ugly Guy Tax”. Not content with his own words of concession on the matter, Maceo turns to a faceless commenter over on my YouTube channel to supposedly drive home the point. OMG Tony – did you really just attempt to appeal to the mob? Is that where we are now? You couldn’t win the argument on your own merits, so you turn to the peanut gallery for support? Are you kidding me?

I see we’re in need of a refresher. Alright, then:

1. There IS no such thing as a “Non-Select Guy Tax”, because in order to “tax” someone, one must be able to compel them to do so; Black women, least of all those of the “Big Booty Brenda” variety that YOU like to chase after, are in no such position. Indeed, Black women on a whole are in absolutely no position in the least to compel Black men to get with them or do their bidding – as the growing contingent of so-called “passport bros” clearly attests to. If indeed there was such a “tax” this would not be the case – end of.

2. Moreover, your remarks on matters such as income tax and capital gains only proved my point in my recent column, “Most Black Men Don’t Know What “Right Of First Refusal” Means”, because if you did, you would not have said what you did. I invite my readers to see the damage for themselves. One wonders whether Mr. Maceo has been able to keep his own tax affairs in order in light of what he wrote?

3. To further illustrate Mr. Maceo’s rank ignorance on the matter, I shall cite one very good example of what a tax is and what happens if you attempt NOT to pay it: anyone remember the “Thot Audit” late last year? Quite a few of the young ladies caught up in that online malestrom were indeed in danger of getting into SERIOUS trouble, PRECISELY because of their making formidable “under the table” incomes – a clear and present case of their attempting to avoid paying INCOME TAX – which can and would get many of them in serious trouble with the IRS if they don’t ante up.

Now, do Black women – from Oprah and Michelle Obama, on down to Big Booty Brenda and Wobbly Hipped Sheila, have any ability to do that to “non-select guys”? Because if they do, then Mr. Maceo can please explain to the rest of us how and why Black women can be heard day and night caterwauling about being abandoned, not being protected, not being provided for, etc.? Perhaps Mr. Maceo can explain how and why Black women made such a huge stink about “non-select” Black men heading off for places like Brazil, that numerous articles and the like had to be written about it and a major documentary had to be done in response? And finally, maybe Mr. Maceo can explain for us, how and why, if what he asserts about a “tax” and a “Big Booty Cartel” is indeed true, why is there documented evidence of Black women getting on planes and following the very “non-select” Black men they summarily supposedly curved, to such far flung locales as Brazil and even Africa itself? Per the notion of taxes and cartels, not only shouldn’t Black women – especially the ones under examination at this juncture in the friendly debate between Mr. Maceo and myself – should be able to get these guys coming back hat in hand, right?


What Mr. Maceo calls “commonsense” and accuses me of lacking same, I prefer to call an insistence on precision – which was, again, the entire point of my recent column. Maceo has and continues to prove, that far too many Black men leave a lot to be desired when it comes to their communication skills – verbal or written. To be sure, I am not at all against allegories, or analogies – just that one use them correctly. When you don’t even understand the base concepts of that which you wish to draw on to illustrate a point metaphorically, it just makes you look like a fool to those who truly do know which end is up.

But, then again, for so many Black men, the one-eyed man is king, right Tony?

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Next, Mr. Maceo moves along to the topic of my recent “ROFR” article, where he asserts that I have supposedly “bayoneted” my own argument, by agreeing with his premise that non-physically attractive Black men must pay a “tax” should they want some facetime with Big Booty Brenda. And on its face it sounds good; until you read this from my “ROFR” piece:

The closest actual definition of the principle of ROFR as applied to human mating that I could, comes from a website called, “Our Family Wizard”; a posting there called, “First Right of Refusal in Child Custody Cases” states the following:

“Right of first refusal in child custody situations commonly means that one parent must first offer the other parent the opportunity to look after their children before contacting a babysitter or another family member to care for the kids. It is a clause that is frequently included in child custody agreements to help parents navigate parenting time exchanges.

Right of first refusal typically applies to both planned and last minute situations. For instance, if a parent makes plans for a night out with friends two months or even two days before the actual event, they must offer the other parent the option to care for their children before making any other arrangements. If the other parent decides not to take the kids during this time, then a third-party caretaker such as a friend, babysitter, or another family member may be asked to care for the children instead. Right of first refusal may also apply to situations such as doctor’s appointments, vacations, after-school daycare, and many other instances.”

Got it? There has already been an established relationship between two of the three parties involved here: the pre-existing relationship between the parents. If they were married, then a CONTRACTUAL relationship is also in play, which would fall in line with the original intent and meaning of ROFR. Moreover, in keeping with the spirit of ROFR, the custodial parent must offer the noncustodial parent the right to care for the kid(s) BEFORE SAID CUSTODIAL PARENT CONTACTS AN OUTSIDE THIRD PARTY TO DO SO, such as a babysitter or daycare provider. ONLY IN THE EVENT OF SAID NONCUSTODIAL PARENT DECLING SUCH AN OFFER, can the custodial parent then seek an outside third party to care for the kid(s).

See how that works?

Again, I ask you dear reader: WHERE does this “hood definition” of ROFR come into play? Perhaps in his next rebuttal to yours truly, Mr. Maceo can attempt to clearly explain. With citations and sources.

Shall we hold our breath?”

I leave it to my esteemed readers to take the over/under on that one.

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One of my favorite pastimes since becoming a full-time podcaster, citizen journalist and talk radio show host four years ago, is in watching how my interlocutors attempt to play equal parts detective and armchair pop-psychologist – trying to ferret out my “real motives”, even though I’ve done more to be transparent about a range of things more than just about any other Black social media personality you can name. It’s kinda like “CSI: Obsidian”. I love it!

You see, there are those like Tony, who swear up and down that what “really” animates yours truly, is that I am seething in impotent rage over the fact that big booty hoodchicks like the proverbial Brenda and Sheila not only have rejected me for a roll in the hay, but choose to go after guys who I would deem as clearly not on my level. You remember that infamous Eliot Rodger manifesto, right – how he smugly asserted from his black BMW sedan, that he was “the supreme gentleman”? Think of that just with my voiceover instead of Rodger’s and you’ve got it! Yea, that’s the ticket!

Dammit, you’ve done it again, Maceo (takes off Funky Phantom mask) – drat! Who wouldn’ve guessed that you would have figured out my grand scheme simply by looking at the big booty ghetto stripper thumbnails that accompanied my podcasts? You’re in the wrong line of work! Move over, Batman! Take a powder, Sherlock Holmes! We need to kill the Angela Landsbury reruns, too – because here comes Tony Maceo, Hood Detective For Hire!

Of course, Maceo has completely forgotten the part where I said the following about my real life, taken from my column, “The Myth Of The Big Booty Brenda Cartel”:

“Third and finally, here’s the truth about Mumia Obsidian Ali: I am the textbook definition of the underdog. Without a college degree and only a high school diploma with a life spent in the blue collar trades, I am able to walk among the giants of the Black world due to my commitment to the development of my mind to the best it can be. I’ve rubbed shoulders with dignitaries and luminaries, have spent evenings at yacht parties and kicked it with certified millionaires – and when it came to the ladies, I’ve certainly known my fair share of hotties, too. My current ladyfriend is a case in point: for starters, SHE APPROACHED ME, didn’t “charge me” for it and only wanted to jump my bones because she thought that I looked good to her and that I was smart (non-select guy IQ for the win!). She’s suburban, middle class raised, 5’10”, built like an Amazon, workouts daily to the tune of many miles a day, played basketball and volleyball at the high school and collegiate levels and attended a top ten elite university according to the US News & World Report rankings – undergrad and grad. She’s turned down offers to be a model recently, too. She is what self-made Black men like me get: attractive, accomplished, feminine, cooperative Black women who want to be on the winning team in life. And I am living proof that “non-select guys” CAN win – which is the reason why I write this dating coach column every week.”

Nah, no need to listen to the O-Man, because he’s lying, you see. Maceo knows Obsidian better than Obsidian does! Don’t you rubes see that?

I’ve said on several occasions and I will say it quite a few times more before it’s all said and done, that a gentleman has a social life. Well, in the tradition of “Saint Kevin” Samuels and his admonition for Black men to “show their work”, you see the proof that accompanies today’s column: that’s me at last week’s “Music Fan First 10th Anniversary” concert, held at the City Winery here in Philly, posing next to Eric “Erro” Roberson himself. The pic was snapped by my ladyfriend. She didn’t want to be photographed and splashed all over the social media venues that I am known to frequent, because quite frankly, she’s got her hands full already with guys filling up her inbox with unsolicited direct messages and the like. But I can tell you that Erro’s entourage had their eyes on her all night. In fact, she could very well BE one of the pinup gals I put together with my podcasts – she’s got big legs for days, a stair-stepper behind and a snatched waist, to say nothing of having a beautiful face and REAL LONG HAIR, unlike the vast majority of “big booty models” these days. All that, plus what I noted above in the quote.

So, we have to ask: WHY would I give a crap about Big Booty Brenda in the projects, telling me “Nigga please, you work for UPS”? First off, I haven’t been to the projects since I was a teenager spinning records at parties that I got paid for; and second, such floozies would be doing me a huge favor by “curving” me. I can’t even remember the last time I dealt with the broad from the ‘hood, because, as Maceo himself admits in his citation of the data, MOST Black Americans are middle or upper middle class – including my ladyfriend. She spend her childhood in the burbs, attended a suburban highschool and was accepted into, attended and graduated from a top ten elite university. Nor is she the exception that proves the rule in my life: I can’t remember the last time I dated, or even simply banged, a “Big Booty Brenda” hoodrat chick type. ALL of them have been some variation of my ladyfriend and she already knows that if for some reason we go splitsville, the next one will be pretty much in the same wheelhouse. I never go backwards, bro.

So – either Tony didn’t take the time to read the above quote from my “cartel” article – or he did and thinks that I’m lying. Which is it? If the former, then that really tells us all we need to know about Maceo’s willingness to argue in good faith, now doesn’t it? And if the latter, then I must ask: who is he for me to lie to? What do I have to gain, by doing so? Especially after I’ve been so voluntarily forthcoming, while he continues to hide his own face behind an avatar? When will he “show his work”? Hmm…

In the meantime: Tony should know, that those thumbnails that he swears is some kind of smoking gun, are in fact not just my own picks; they are that of my listening audience. For at least six months, I actively solicited listeners to send in their idea of hot chicks and I would post them up with my podcasts – and until the YouTube Politburo went crazy, that’s exactly what I did. On top of that, Maceo still hasn’t provided proof that only project-dwelling, inner-city living ratchet chicks have big behinds – ask Eric Roberson, a proud graduate of Howard University and raised in the burbs of Rahway, NJ, if that’s true. To honestly hold the notion that the only Black women in Black America that can be built like Brenda in the hood are, well, Brenda in the hood, is nothing short of unbelieveable and seriously calls into question Tony’s own grip on reality. He really does need to get out more.

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Let’s move to another “point”(?) in Tony’s missive, shall we? The idea that hood chicks choose surly brutes over guys like me, because “protection”. He cites Department of Justice stats and that’s all well and good – but, where is the DATA that inner city Black women actually DO choose such Black men for the reasons that Maceo has stated? If such data exists, he has yet to present it. What he’s done instead, is give his own OPINIONS, drawn from at best, tangentially-related crime data. But, what the heck – I’m in a good mood today, so let’s grant Tony his premise, shall we? There are two major problems with it; let’s take each in turn:

1. As I’ve noted in my recent column, “Black America Confirms “The 80/20 Rule” Is Real”, if Black women for whom it applies truly are choosing “select men” they’re doing a really bad job of it. In that piece, I reference a now five year old snippet taken from YouTube of the wildly popular reality tv show, “Fix My Life” starring Iyanla Vanzant, seen on the Oprah Winfrey Network. The snippet, which deals with SIX Black men siring upwards of EIGHTY Black children with FIFTY Black women, serves as strong an acid test as any, to determine the veracity of Mr. Maceo’s claims. Mind you now: Mr. Maceo has asserted that Black women, particularly in the inner city where crime is rampant, select Black men on the basis of physical aggression, NOT intelligence and other traits – to say nothing of a lack of height – right?


Alrighty then, so let us now look at the tape of Iyanla’s show, shall we? There the six Black “select” baby daddies are. OK, so where are the Dave Bautistas in blackface here? Mind you – these are documented “select” Black men who have on average, EIGHT BABY MAMAS EACH. Sure, any one of these guys could be trained killers – master martial artists, or highly skilled marksmen, etc. – but highly unlikely. In any event, the argument that Mr. Maceo has made, is that Black women like the ones being featured on “Fix My Life” can and will select for physical attractiveness and aggression. Right? So, where is all this free flowing testosterone, Mr. Maceo? And why are their baby mamas on OWN, if they’re being oh-so “protected”?

To ask the question, is to answer it. And:

2. Some of you may recall a column I wrote, entitled, “Lessons Learned From The Summer 2019 North Philly Shootout”; it was my response to an eight hour standoff involving a career Black criminal, holding an entire North Philly neighborhood hostage in a hail of bullets from his own personal arsenal of an AR-15 assault rifle and a bunch of pistols, including a .45 semi-automatic and a .357 revolver. That shootout took place in the Nicetown/Tioga section of North Philly – an area that I know well, but haven’t been in many years, by choice. An area that Mr. Maceo waxes eloquent about. Trust me, said area offers precious little of the kinds of ladies that I or the brothers in my dojo actually want, even if only for sexual purposes (and Tony, please note that, that that is NOT the only reason I’d like to enjoy a Black woman’s company; does the phrase, “sexual AND feminine companion”, ring a bell? I’ve said this many times on my podcasts and live shows over the years.). At the time said standoff occurred, there were several murders and rapes, to say nothing of lots of strong-arm robberies, home invasions, aggravated assaults, drugs offenses…and the list goes on.

So, even in light of strong countervailing evidence in the form of “Fix My Life” notwithstanding, we can still see Tony sticking to his guns on the whole “Hood Black women choosing Mighty Joe Young Negroes over Obsidians because, protection” argument. Fair enough. So, I ask Mr. Maceo – and those who agree with his point of view – to consider the following excerpt from said column above:

Yes, it is true – it is the responsibility and duty of any man, to see to the personal safety and security of any woman he is with – be that for a night, a weekend fling, a “friends with benefits” arrangement, a marriage, a live-in lover relationship, a “sugar daddy/sugar baby” deal, etc. This is the time-honored deal between ANY man and woman in a sexual and/or romantic context – his provisioning, resources, status and protection, for her youth, beauty fertility and cooperation/submissiveness. It is something observed throughout the planet’s animal species. And it is so for humans.”


“While it is a given that a Black man should have some measure of self-defense training and retain at least some degree of proficiency at it throughout the course of his life, what is often overlooked on these matters is that security and protection of one’s woman extends far beyond more close quarters combat. After studying these matters and conferring with many professional soldiers, special forces operators, bouncers, bodyguards, martial artists and the like, I have come to the conclusion that the very first thing to consider, is what the old adage the real estate world holds dear: location, location, location. And, using my hometown Philly as a case in point, security and protection of your woman really IS a matter of where you live. The Tioga/Nicetown section of Philly, as expressed on this excellent crime data map put out by the Phildelphia Inquirer newspaper/website, makes the point clear. In a section that contains just over 17K residents, almost 16K of those are Black; the median income is just under $25K USD a year; the poverty rate is nearly 31%; and and those without a high school diploma, is at 21%. In the past week alone, there have been nine “aggravated assaults with firearm” and five robberies – and two of those involved guns. There was also a reported rape, on Aug 15, 2019 – one day after the 2019 North Philly Shootout.”

Let’s continue:

“Compare and contrast with, say, the West Mt. Airy section of Philadelphia, again using the Philadelphia Inquirer crime data map, for the same time period; as you can see, there are approximately 5.5K Blacks, along with 5.9K Whites. 447 Asians, 367 Hispanics and 629 “Multi-racials” round out the roughly 13K residents of this section of Philly. Clearly, the more diverse population plays a role in a safer environment – evidenced in part by the very low overall crime rate there – the last time a homicide took place there, was back in 2011, nearly a decade ago. Income and education play a significant role as well – note that the median income of West Mt. Airy is nearly three times that of Tioga/Nicetown. The poverty rate is only one third that of Tioga/Nicetown and those without a high school degree? A mere 5% – one fourth of what it is in Tioga/Nicetown.

So, by merely using some simple metrics of my own hometown in real time, we can safely say that while it is useful, helpful and wise for a Black man to know how to “throw hands” as well as being proficient in the use of some form of weapon, be that ranged, melee, improvised or all of the above, what is also very clear from the data is that location plays a critical, even MORE important role, when it comes to safety and security of one’s woman and if applicable, family (read: children).”

Got it, Tony? That’s not me talking – that’s the actual, real time crime data in my city of Philly. But, wait – we gotta get to the real kicker:

“The Obsidians know this and know it well and understand that the single best way they can provide security and safety for their women and families, is to PREPARE THEMSELVES ACCORDINGLY. This means that they acquire all the education they can; failing that, they acquire all of the vocational and technical training they can – because these skills will enable a Black man the ability to live a much better quality of life, which will per force translate into added safety and security for any woman he chooses to partner with.”

Many thousands of years ago – before Christ walked the earth, in fact – the brilliant military commander and strategist Sun Tzu, understood the importance of position/location, as well as the psychology of one’s likely adversaries. And it was because of this, that he famously said the following:

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

You’ve got it ass-backwards, Tony: you think that I and those like me are butthurt over the Big Booty Judy’s in Hoodrat America curving us, when in truth, it’s the other way around – as I’ve noted earlier above. They are the ones who are feeling some kind of way that guys like us can take our human, social and economic capital and resources far beyond the confines and boundaries of the hood and provide safety and security, without ever firing a shot or knuckling up – in fact, as Sun Tzu rightly observes, if you’re in a situation where you’re forced to “go there”, in a very real sense, you’ve ALREADY LOST.

And THIS is why those Black women – those hood chicks – those Big Booty Brendas – are so wretched and truly pathetic: because, in their stupidity and desperation, they turn to the very kinds of Black men who can and will make their lives demonstrably worse in EVERY way, even if they can manage to knockout a fellow knucklehead or two. As so many sociological and ethnographic tracts, like “Promises I Can Keep” and “Ain’t No Trust” make clear, life for Big Booty Brenda SUCKSand she’s dying for a way out. She knows, deep down, that guys like me can give her a life that is magnitudes better and safer for her – that Black men like me can literally lift hood chicks like her into another tax bracket – but that her chances of getting guys like me are slim to none, EVEN FOR EASY SEX. I don’t want it, don’t need it – why should I? Why bother with the hassle, the baggage, the many, many issues, that come with Big Booty Judy from “around the way” – when I can get Big Booty Danielle, with her damn-near 4.0 GPA from an elite uni, a lifetime of living in the burbs from a two-parent home and is easily as freaky if not moreso, than Brenda or Judy – with little to none of the baggage?

Moreover, the notion that you proffer, that said hood Black women select mates solely on the basis of the physical, doesn’t even pass muster with the Black women’s magazine of record, Essence; here’s a direct quote from a piece I’ve discussed many times on the air since its publication, “Why Is It So Hard For Black Women to Find The Love They Deserve?” on the matter:

“We have clients that have a long laundry list of requirements—6 foot 4, with a Ph.D., never been married, no children, in his late 30s or early 40s—and a lot of times we then ask them, well, what are you bringing to the table? And, the answer is nowhere near all that. Why would you expect someone to have more than what you’re offering?”

True, Black women across the socioeconomic spectrum DO indeed place a higher premium on (Black) male physical appearance and presentation than do other races and ethnicities of women; but even Black women don’t select ONLY for such attributes, Tony. Indeed, this is borne out, not only in another work that (hopefully!) you know well, the critically acclaimed, “The Evolution of Desire”, where in chapter 2, “What Women Want” and beginning on pp. 22, Buss outlines, based on his global research, the findings of the traits women find most desirable in men. Do you know what came in at the Number One position, Tony?

Economic Capacity(!).

That’s right, Tony – women worldwide value economic resources so much, that when they are in a position to do so, they choose it over all other considerations. In fact, this was borne out in a recent Tinder study – “Are men intimidated by highly educated women? Undercover on Tinder” – where it was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that higher educated men got demonstrably more “swipe rights” than men with less education. This fact disproves the argument profferred by you: that (Black) women, even inner city ones, select mates SOLELY on looks alone. No, they don’t.

Do you know what’s really going on, Tony? Here it is: a lot of Black women CAN’T select for (Black) men who can offer more to them than a wet behind, because THEY CAN’T GAIN ACCESS TO THOSE BLACK MEN. It has been demonstrated again and again over the years: Black women, taken as a group, come in at or near dead last on every single dating app or service – this, on top of all of the familiar stats we have about where Black women as a group rank out here on these open mating market streets. Not to toot my or the other bros of my dojo’s horn, but seriously, we do quite well for ourselves comparitively speaking – as the “passport bros” easily attests to.

So, are Black women for whom it applies – those “hood chicks” you love to sing vintage LL Cool J anthems to – really choosing Mighty Joe Young, Jr., because of his mythical “swag” and “physical aggression” – or is it because, that’s the best she could do?

You tell me.

No, Tony; it’s not guys like me who are pissed at chicks like Brenda, Judy and Sheila; it is the other way around, now heard almost daily on “Black social media. Only an ideologically blinkered soul like you, would attempt to deny that truth at this late date.

And the only thing Brenda, Judy or Sheila can hope for at this point, is for some guy like you to come along and offer her $75 USD.

So, why talk about them so much, you might ask? Well, in a word: I don’t. You clearly haven’t been listening very closely, Tony. Most of my ire, to the extent it exists, is aimed at putatively highly educated Black women who have been making all the noise over the past few decades in the media. Very little of what I do on a daily basis involves Brenda, Judy or Sheila from the bowels of inner city Black America – and for good reason. They are simply a nonfactor, for the most part. I like going after targets that can fight back – you know, like the Ivy League educated Feminista Jones? Or the attorney and talking head, Sophia Nelson? Black women like that. Simply put, the Big Booty Brendas of the world don’t provide enough of a challenge.

But they do make for a nice pinup pic. 😉

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Finally – whew(!) – we come to Tony’s parting shot; yet another non-sequitur of a detour in our friendly exchange where he desperately attempts to go, “You, too!”. What is he blathering on about this time, you ask? Mr. Maceo argues that I take the same “liberties” with borrowing previously well-established terms and attempts to make them into metaphors without really knowing what I’m talking about and cites my classic series of podcasts on the social contract as “proof” that I accuse him of; here’s Mr. Maceo in all his misbegotten glory:

“Shockingly, Ali consistently violates the same literal norms that he now accuses me of. Take for example, his misuse of the concept of the Social Contract. The Social Contract theory of the Enlightenment Philosophers is an organized society where people surrender some of their individual liberties to secure protection from the state for the general welfare of society. Ali bastardized this definition to imply that man’s participation in society is directly related to whether he had own “private pussy.” This idea is more Freudian than anything else. Misattribution is what happens when Google is the extent of your scholarship. By the way, it is extremely improbable that Hobbes, Locke, Kant, or Rousseau was ever specifically talking about pussy while ruminating about the relationship between man and the state. But nevertheless, he was granted allegorical license to explain a misattributed, though niggerized idea.”

Wow! Strong words – but do they hold up to scrutiny? Is Tony right – or is the O-Man? Let’s check in with Google to find out.

Looking up the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy with the help of Google, yours truly found the following on a critically acclaimed work called, interestingly enough, “The Sexual Contract”:

“Carole Pateman’s 1988 book, The Sexual Contract, argues that lying beneath the myth of the idealized contract, as described by Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau, is a more fundamental contract concerning men’s relationship to women. Contract theory represents itself as being opposed to patriarchy and patriarchal right. (Locke’s social contract, for example, is set by him in stark contrast to the work of Robert Filmer who argued in favor of patriarchal power.) Yet the “original pact” (2) that precedes the social contract entered into by equals is the agreement by men to dominate and control women. This ‘original pact’ is made by brothers, literally or metaphorically, who, after overthrowing the rule of the father, then agree to share their domination of the women who were previously under the exclusive control of one man, the father. The change from “classical patriarchalism” (24) to modern patriarchy is a shift, then, in who has power over women. It is not, however, a fundamental change in whether women are dominated by men. Men’s relationships of power to one another change, but women’s relationship to men’s power does not. Modern patriarchy is characterized by a contractual relationship between men, and part of that contract involves power over women. This fact, that one form of patriarchy was not overthrown completely, but rather was replaced with a different form, in which male power was distributed amongst more men, rather than held by one man, is illustrated by Freud’s story of the genesis of civilization. According to that story, a band of brothers, lorded over by a father who maintained exclusive sexual access to the women of the tribe, kill the father, and then establish a contract among themselves to be equal and to share the women. This is the story, whether we understand Freud’s tale to be historically accurate or not, of modern patriarchy and its deep dependence on contract as the means by which men control and dominate women.”

Oh, wait – looks like Ms. Pateman beat yours truly to punch on carrying Hobbes, Locke and Rosseau’s ideas of a social contract up to date and rightly expanded the discussion into one of the most fundamental building blocks of any society by least 30 years(!) – that of the relationship between men and women, which is indeed, rooted in sex. Indeed, marriage is itself a kind of social contract – a solemn pact made before the world, between a man and woman and again, forms the basis of just about every civilized society on the planet and is itself, rooted in sex. Pateman and other feminist theorists, have been attempting to “rewrite” said social contract between men and women over the past three decades and on many levels, they’ve succeeded; they’ve just expected men to remain stuck in the amber of the past, doing what we’ve always done, while they get to sup from both the past, present and future, whenever it suits them to do so. Well, as the backlash against #MeToo and Gillette clearly shows, to say nothing of the rise of the Manosphere, both White and Black, we ain’t goin’ out like that. We accept a new deal – but we want our fair share in said new deal, too.

And we will stop at nothing to get it.

At any rate, by all means Tony, keep talking – I am thoroughly enjoying watching you have a meltdown in slow motion.

“You are entitled to your opinions, but not your own facts”.
-Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Now adjourn your asses (See, I knew it would catch on!),


Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host and newly minted dating coach. You can catch his daily live shows on Mixlr, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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