The Successful Black Man’s Paradox

Let’s keep it one hundred percent raw. The reason many Black men pursue money, power, and status is to get attractive women. All heterosexual men, regardless of race, are motivated by pursuit of sex. Napoleon Hill, in his classic book, Think and Grow Rich, said as much in his discussion of Sex Transmutation. It’s the nature of man. If you want to kill a man’s ambition convince him that no matter what he does he will not get an attractive woman as a sex partner. Indeed many men who drop out of society do so because of lack of attention from women. The reality of men pursuing success for a reward of sex, however, presents an interesting paradox.

So a Black man works hard to reach a point of success. To be clear he does so not just to get women but to have a purpose in his life. During the time he works towards success he will likely be without significant female companionship. A sad reality is that most Black men will not get significant attention from Black women unless they have not only money but visible indications of that money. So this Black man is paying his dues, working hard, and likely going home to a subpar place with a raggedy car parked outside. He keeps his eyes on the prize as he knows better days are coming.

Fast forward years later this same Black man now has a big house, with a late model luxury car. With money he can get better clothes, better haircuts, deal with any cosmetic dental issues, and get a personal trainer to get his body right. With money and a better physical presentation the women are now coming his way. Young and attractive women are making themselves available to him all times of the day and night. It seems like this now successful Black man is in heaven. He has reached his personal success goals and gets to have sex with beautiful young women. Here’s where the paradox comes in.

Yes the successful Black man has reached a point where he can get the women he wants but he will not be able to trust them. Despite everything he has going for him how can he know these women who now find him attractive want him for his intrinsic personality or because of his money, status, and power. What if something happens to his money and power? The average millionaire will go through bankruptcy three times. Businesses rise and fail all the time. What if the man decides he simply doesn’t like what he’s doing and wants to live a simpler life? Many men walk away from high paying, high status positions to do something that is more their passion. Will those attractive women showing up to a man’s place with nothing on but a trench coat continue to do so if the place is a modest apartment?

This is something many successful men, regardless of race has to deal with. It is especially a problem with successful Black men because they know most Black women will not pay attention to a man unless he has money. It comes down to trust. How can a successful Black man trust the women he meets? When a man is struggling but still has a woman he is there for him he knows that she truly cares about him. If a woman is willing to have sex with a man on his air mattress in a basement apartment in a low income neighborhood then the man knows she is truly down for him. He can trust that woman.

A successful Black man simply can’t trust most of the women he meets. There’s very little she can do to gain his trust. She didn’t have to sacrifice anything to get with him. It’s win-win for her all the way around. Thus the paradox for men.

The successful Black man works hard in part to get attractive women but in doing so he gets to the point where he can never be truly happy with those attractive women. He will always have to question their intentions.

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