As a Professional Dating Coach, if there are at least three pieces of advice I give all of my male clients, it would be these three things:
- Never avoid approaching a woman due to a profound fear of rejection; work on overcoming your fear of rejection;
- Never waste too much time with trivial ‘small talk’ with women; Always let a woman know within the first five minutes of your first conversation with her what your specific romantic or sexual desires, interests, and intentions are;
- Never, ever give a woman the impression that you are emotionally needy and/or desperate for that woman’s romantic or sexual companionship
BEING EMOTIONALLY NEEDY and/or SEXUALLY DESPERATE = THIRSTY
When I was in my twenties, no one used the term “thirsty.” The main urban slang term in the mid-to-late 1980s and 1990s was “jocking” a woman. As a man, you never wanted to be perceived as jockin’ a woman’s ego. Jockin’ a woman was to the latter part of the 20th Century what “being thirsty” is to the early part of the 21st Century.
There is not any form of behavior exhibited by a man that is more of a turn off than presenting yourself to women as a man who is ‘emotionally needy’ and/or ‘sexually desperate.’
What causes such ‘thirsty’ behavior?
YOU HAD A MOTHER or STEP-MOTHER WHO WAS VERY AFFECTIONATE and NURTURING TOWARD YOU
If any man had a mother or step-mother who was extremely affectionate, very nurturing, and generally spoiled that man when he was a boy, nine times out of ten, that boy will grow up to be a man who seeks out women to behave toward him in a manner that is similar to his mother or step-mother.
This is what is generally known as a “mama’s boy” type. Men who are mama’s boy types tend to maintain a high desire throughout their adult life to find a woman who is in many ways, a “second mother” for them. They want a woman in their life who is going to be exceptionally nurturing, very physically affectionate, and who will attend to their each and every need.
Men of this nature have a very hard time being ignored by women for a period of days, weeks, months, and/or years. Mama’s boy types are men who usually need and demand a high degree of constant attention from women on a day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month basis.
The best advice I would give to men who fall into this category is to involve yourself in a high number of activities that do not involve socializing with women too much. You need to become more of a “man’s man” type who genuinely enjoys the companionship of other men rather than allowing yourself to be a man who constantly wants and needs to be with a woman at all times.
YOU HAVE VERY FEW IF ANY OPTIONS FOR ROMANTIC or SEXUAL COMPANIONSHIP
It is hard to present yourself to women as a man who is ‘laid back,’ reserved, and extremely confident when you either have no active options for romantic and sexual companionship, or at minimum, you only have ONE woman in your life that you can spend time with romantically or strictly sexually and she practically makes you beg for sex.
My personal philosophy for dealing with women is “No First Prizes.” What that means is never, ever be too quick to behave toward a woman as if she is your ONLY OPTION for female companionship, or at a minimum, never be too quick to treat a woman as if she is your absolute first preference for female companionship.
As a man, I do not care how attracted to a woman you may find yourself, resist the urge to place “all of your eggs into one basket.” Most women will quickly and indefinitely take advantage of this egotistical upper hand position for them.
FORCE WOMEN TO VALUE YOUR TIME, ATTENTION, and COMPANIONSHIP
As a man, you can never allow women to disrespect your time and attention or take your companionship for granted. Always exhibit behavior that essentially forces women to place a high degree of value on your time, attention, and companionship (most Entertainment Industry celebrities are known for doing this).
For example, do not call women multiple times per week or even per month. Do not be too quick to offer to flatter women, entertain women, and treat women to free lunches, free dinners, free concerts, or free movies. Do not allow yourself to spend a significant amount of time with women in a purely platonic manner (i.e., stop FunClubbin’ with women). Do not allow women to talk to you or treat you like you are a chump, a simp, or their personal Beta Bitch Boy or cuckold.
As a man, always concentrate on self-improvement (particularly, physical-related self-improvement such as eating healthy foods and exercising on a regular basis) to the point where you sometimes forget about spending time with women socially. This will heavily contribute to you preventing women from perceiving you as being either emotionally needy or desperate for women’s companionship.
Take heed to all of the advice above, and the next thing you know, women will be throwing themselves at you and initiating flirtatious social interactions with you. And that gentlemen … is always a great thing.
Note: Columnist Alan Roger Currie will not have a published article posted on the following dates due to his travel schedule and/or vacation plans:
- Monday, October 2, 2017
- Monday, October 9, 2017
- Monday, October 16, 2017
- Monday, October 23, 2017
- Monday, November 27, 2017
- Monday, December 25, 2017
- Monday, January 1, 2017
More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie will be a featured speaker at the 10th Anniversary Edition of The 21 Convention in Orlando, Florida (USA). For more information, visit https://the21convention.org/arc