Why Are Black Men Obsessed With Russell Wilson?

The latest round of Russell Wilson-hating reveals a very disturbing trend of Black male gossips and busybodies

The happy couple!
                                                   The happy couple!

 

“Great Minds Discuss Ideas; Average Minds Discuss Events; Small Minds Discuss People.”
-Henry Thomas Buckle

If there’s one issue that is sure to raise the hackles of Black men and women alike, it’s Super Bowl-winning quarterback Russell Wilson and his bride of some five years now, the fashion model and singer Ciara. My career as a podcaster began with their public coming together as a couple in the summer of 2015 and they’ve been a constant staple of often intense, ferocious debate on Black social media ever since.

The reason(s) why the happy couple would be such a flashpoint for Black men and women, aren’t at all hard to tell. Wilson, a handsome and successful Black man, chose to wed Ciara, no slouch in the good looks and success departments herself; the problem was that Ciara was a baby mama, with none other than the notorious “serial impregnator” rapper Future as her baby daddy. Despite this, Wilson actively courted and then married Ciara, much to the chagrin of Black men, and to the rousing applause of Black women.

Over the past six years, Black men could be heard online “predicting” the ultimate downfall of Russell and Ciara’s marriage, often on the grounds that Future was Ciara’s “true love” and that Russell was merely “Plan B”; even relatively famous individuals like rapper Slim Thug weighed in on the matter a few years back. Problem with that was, Russell and Ciara neer went splitsville; indeed, it seemed that they grew closer with each passing year – and usually a new baby along with it.

With their most recent appearance on the GQ channel and Russell’s remark that his greatest fear in life was to lose Ciara, the outrage machine on Black social media – particularly the Black male side of it – has reset the doomsday clock and excoriated Wilson for the umpteenth time (“Ciara & Russell Wilson Ask Each Other 33 Questions | The Couples Quiz | GQ“, YouTube, Feb 11, 2021). But I want to kindly suggest, that it’s time for us guys to knock it off – Russell and Ciara are here to stay – and move on. At this juncture, nothing good can come from Black men at large on social media railing against Wilson for his choice in a mate – and to be frank, at this point, it just looks like downright hating on the brother. He’s successful, he’s got one of the most beautiful women in the Black entertainment world, and by all accounts they have a very happy family life – despite the Future thing. In today’s column, I make the case for the lessons we Obsidians can learn from all this – and it might not be what you think.

Let’s dive right in!

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FOR THE RECORD, I GET IT
Let’s address something right off the rip before I go any further: Look, I get it – Ciara wouldn’t be my choice of a mate either, due not only to being a baby mama (defined here as a woman who has had a child or children, without benefit of marriage first and in this case at all) and least of all with Future being the baby daddy. I get that, whether Wilson intends to or not, sends a potentially damaging message to others – if not other to Black men that it’s OK to do a kind of “Baby Mama Bailout”, then certainly to Black women, many of whom see Ciara as a kind of vindication of the idea that merely having a child or children out of wedlock doesn’t relegate you to a loveless purgatory for the rest of your life.

I get it. I really do.

With an out of wedlock birth rate in Black America now nearing eighty percent and with this state of affairs becoming the primary way that the next generations of Black Americans are coming on, a real and plausible argument could be made that Wilson’s star power here could cause more harm than good. The trick is, “harm for who?”, as Black women would see it as an unmitigated good. I personally think that if Wilson is guilty of anything along these lines, it’s that he might not have considered the ripple effect his personal actions might have had on the already fraught, fractious and contentious discourse between Black men and women. Perhaps he might have taken the opportunity his relationship and subsequent marriage to Ciara, to address these very sensitive matters publicly, to a Black audience. “With great power comes great responsibility” – and fame is power, indeed.

Then again, there will be those who argue, why should Wilson do such a thing – after all, it’s his personal life and he doesn’t owe anyone any explanation, right? And on it goes.

I think the way forward for us is to simply acknowledge our displeasure at the whole thing, give a reasoned, thoughtful argument as to why, and then keep it moving. This is what I did back in the summer of 2015 and only now, six years on, have I decided to return to the matter to make a powerful point about how and why guys really do need to get a life.

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR OWN LIFE?
Despite all the hooplah about being a “red pill” kind of guy, in truth very few of them in my direct observation live up to the hype; that’s because, taking the cue from the famed “Matrix” film of the last century, “taking the red pill” means to “unplug” from the world of make-believe, of polite convention, or pretty lies – and to accept the raw, unmitigating realities of life.

Well, I think the time has come for the legions of Black men online who can be heard once again bemoaning Wilson – here’s the facts:

1. He is literally a leader of men as quaterback of a Super Bowl-winning team. What organization are YOU are leader of, and which men do YOU lead?

2. He has an estimated net worth of some $135M USD and makes about $35M USD a year doing a job that he loves. What is YOUR net worth, and how much will YOU make this year?

3. And perhaps most importantly of all, Wilson has gotten the woman he wanted – it doesn’t matter what any of us thinks at this point. The only real question to ask now, is whether YOU, dear reader, have gotten the woman YOU wanted – or not?

What has been most interesting about the past six years – and most telling – is that while so many Black men have so much to say about the personal life choices and decisions of Black men like Russell Wilson, Michael B. Jordan and others, they have relatively so little to say about what THEY are doing in their own lives(!). And, when you peel back a layer or two, you find out that the loudest voices in the room handwringing and shouting about the sky is falling, have very little in their own lives to talk about. Which might explain how and why we are starting to see an alarming rise in Black Male Gossips and Busybodies.

But we here in this dojo know better – we can disapprove of Black men’s actions like Wilson, et. al., while at the same time, keep it moving with our own grand designs with our lives. After all, “A successful man is a busy man” – always remember that, my friends.

My job is done here.

Now adjourn your asses…

Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, newly minted dating coach and soon to be author. You can catch his daily live shows on the global livestreaming radio website Mixlr, as well as the all-new members-only Obsidian Radio Zoomcast, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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