When the words “player” and “game” is used in the context of dating, sex, and relationships the image conjured is usually one of a man, in this case a Black man, wearing streetwear with the freshest haircut and a harem of women. The man is seen as someone immersed in the street life and outside the boundaries of normal living. Part of this image comes from the image of pimps. In part this is accurate. I would say that is only part of the picture.
Based on years of personal experience and observation I would say that the men who are among the best players in this thing of ours called game are not men wearing the latest Jordans or playing a video game on their sister’s couch. The best players in my not always humble opinion are Black professional men. Let’s look at these men for a second.
The archetype of a Black professional man is someone who is generally clean cut with a conservative haircut, no visible tattoos, and who wears more business type of clothing even in casual moments. The man is intelligent and educated in a particular field. They typically don’t look like the popular image of a player. Yet many have more women than they know what to do with. Let’s break it down why this is the case.
On a basic level most Black professional men are in good physical shape. Many played sports at the high school level and some collegiately. Even if they weren’t athletically inclined they likely make enough money to afford a gym membership. So many can attract women simply through body builds. They can afford quality clothing to enhance their physiques which draws the attention of women. They can also afford to eat better to keep themselves in shape.
Since Black professional men typically make a decent amount of money they can afford nice looking cars and decent places to live. This is very important because a man’s environment plays an important part in attracting women. Like it or not women make judgements based on where a man lives and what type of car he drives.
Speaking of judgements the reality is that even though I have preached that men can trump status by having sex appeal status still plays a part in attraction. Many women from the time they are born are told to marry a doctor or lawyer. Even their fathers will tell them that. Though I personally think that women should look more at a man’s character we all know the deal. A man who looks halfway decent giving a woman a card that says “doctor” or “attorney” will get her very interested. He may even start looking better to her.
Another factor is simply hypergamy. The technical meaning of the term, hypergamy, is a woman moving into a higher social class by marrying a member of that social class. The street dude with the smooth rap and fly clothes may provide her with some fun evenings but she isn’t trying to settle down with that type of man.
Now someone may say that a woman going for a Black professional man makes that man a beta because he might not have been the woman’s first choice. Here’s the thing. The Black professional man knows that if he didn’t have that degree, job, luxury car, and spacious condo that he probably wouldn’t get the time of day from many women. This is where the professional brotha’s game kicks in. He doesn’t look for a long term relationship with women.
The Black professional brotha knows women generally only want his status. He will make a conscious decision to only deal them on a limited basis. Many women think that because these men have degrees they also lack street smarts. Black professional men aren’t stupid. They know the game and play it accordingly.