Why “Game” Is A Non-Select Guy’s Best Friend

While the Black Manosphere "shouts at each other" about the viability of Game, the truth is that it's the "Non-Select Guy"'s best friend

Gentlemen, I present to you the legendary Iceberg Slim - honestly, the only Black "mackin' expert" I would enthusiastically endorse in print...
Gentlemen, I present to you the legendary Iceberg Slim – honestly, the only Black “mackin’ expert” I would enthusiastically endorse in print…

“The game is in the field.”

It’s been speculated by some that “Game”, or the Pickup Arts, is somehow played out or passe’; as is often the case in Black American life, such statements reveal more about the people making the claims than about the veracity of the claims itself. On the White side of things, the Pickup industry is, according to United Kingdom academic Dr. Rachel O’Neill, to be worth $100M USD worldwide – and, if one spends any amount of time on the ad-rich YouTube or Facebook – there are no signs of slowing down (“50 years of pickup artists: why is the toxic skill still so in demand?”, The Guardian, Nov 5, 2019). One can hardly get through a ten minute video without seeing at least one and as often as half a dozen or more ads for some form of dating coaching or pickup for men. Back home at the Black Manosphere ranch and despite a raging “shouting match” going on among its denizens as to whether not just Game/Pickup is viable or not but whether Black men themselves are or should want relationships with Black women, “Saint Kevin” Samuels proves night in and night out that Black men are so very interested in “Black Love” that they are willing to spend “Only Fans” money on his channel in the form of “SuperChats” and CashApps to listen to their “godfather” dispense the kinds of worldly relationship wisdom to the many Black women who call in to his show that the Steve Harveys, Derrick Jaxns and Oprah Winfreys dare not mention.

And, to be sure, there will be the loyal opposition of critics who can cite chapter and verse of the handful of “problematic” pickup artists and dating coaches for men – I need not recount them here, they’re easily found online – but what our erstwhile interlocutors conveniently leave out is the fact that men, in this case Black, ARE interested in relationships with (Black) women – and what the critics have advocated and championed, simply hasn’t worked.

Nature after all, abhors a vacuum.

After a solid decade of studying and practicing pickup, my take on the whole ball of wax is this: That it is an imperfect instrument to be sure; studied, taught and practiced by imperfect people; that it is not without its flaws and shortcomings; but, on balance and in the final accounting, is GOOD thing for Black men who want to have relationships with Black women. I mean, seriously, what is the alternative?

In today’s column, I make the case as to how and why Game and Pickup are a Non-Select Guy’s best friend out on these dating and mating streets; how they can help even the odds and level the severely lopsided playing field in their favor – I should know, as I’m living proof – and how Game/Pickup remains the single best option out there for otherwise hopelessly clueless good guys to get their game on track.

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

Despite all of the aforementioned sound and fury going on in the Black Manosphere over whether Game works, or whether Black men should even bother with Black women at all, I know the real reason why so many are so concerned: Because Game/Pickup, WORKS. No, it’s not perfect. No, you won’t be able to pickup every fine sista you see. And no, it’s no guarantee that you won’t have problems with a lady after the initial seduction is complete. But the fact remains that the main reason why so many guys in the Black Manosphere are so concerned about Game and Pickup, is because it works, because it can be taught and learned, and most of all, because it gives the Non-Select Guys a fighting chance.

As I’ve noted previously in this column, both Black women AND Black men, have a tremendous amount of capital invested in the idea of “Select Guys” being the “leading men” of Black American society; this is all predicated on purely superficial things, such as height, looks, manner of dress and in some cases, social bearing. Rarely if ever, are things like experience, competence, integrity, honesty, courage or ambition taken into consideration – all of these qualities are “assumed” to be present in Black America’s “leading men” – what the world outside of Black America would recognize as the “Halo Effect” – and such assumptions often come with ruinous – even disastrous, results (“The Non-Select Guy’s Burden”, Negromanosphere.com, Jul 28, 2020).

If previously “Non-Select Guys” – those not deemed to be initially sexually attractive to Black women and not seen as “leader of men” material to Black men, were able to get hold of a concretized system of self-improvement, it would totally upset the apple cart of Black American life – I am not kidding.

Think about it: Consider just how much is riding in a day to day sense, on this “halo effect” notion of “leading men” in Black American life – pretty much ALL of your social, political and cultural leaders, to one degree or another fits this “template”. Not to offend anyone, but a clear case in point, would have been former president Barack Obama. Tall, good looking, with the right academic background and always knew how to strike the right tone, he was the first Black man who had real credibility as a candidate for the highest office in the land and de facto leader of the free world. Alas, when the pressure was on, Obama faltered, punctuated best, ironically enough, by a Black woman supporter, one Ms. Velma Hart; her exasperation and exhaustion of “defending” Obama to her friends and associates was quite palpable indeed. Obama’s near stammering response spoke volumes (“Disappointed Obama supporter: “Frankly, I’m Exhausted at Defending You”, YouTube, Sep 21, 2010).

What everyone knows but no one wants to say openly in Black American life, is that “Select Guys” don’t tend to have what it takes when it counts the most, while “Non-Select Guys” often do, but don’t have the suave, elegant outward appearance. Black America NEEDS the latter to quietly do their duty while the former gets to sop up all the spoils – including the women. Game/Pickup offers the chance for the latter guys to get some of those spoils for themselves – and THAT is why so many in the Black Manosphere is so very concerned.

And well they should be.

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

I alluded to this point in the previous section, but please allow me to go a bit further in this one. My argument is that there are three very powerful reasons why Game/Pickup works, and gives Non-Select Guys a decisive edge out on the Black American open mating market. They are as follows:

1. Because Game/Pickup can be taught. I know this really chaps the hides of lots of Black men, who like the idea of “The Game is to be sold, not told”, like they’re Iceberg Slim reincarnated, but the simple, cold, hard truth is, that science has broken down the mating dance to such an extent, that it is now possible for Non-Select Guys in contemporary Black America to learn exactly what does it for most Black women and learn it. The real irony here is that they don’t have to read the umpteen poorly written/edited/presented “mackin’ manuals” to do it, either – they can read actual scientific books like “A Billion Wicked Thoughts”, “The Mating Mind”, “Sex at Dawn”, “Sperm Wars”, “The Red Queen” and my personal favorite, “The Evolution of Desire” – to say nothing of, yea I’ll say it, White Game and Pickup texts by the likes of RooshV, Neil “Style” Strauss and Rollo Tomassi. Now to be sure, one has to take cultural nuances into account before applying this knowledge in the field – for example, Black American women tend to “Shit Test” a Black man more than other races and cultures of women do – but if one is willing to tweak and fine tune what the White scientific and Game/Pickup worlds have to offer, the Non-Select Guy in Black America can be a real force to be reckoned with…

2. Because Game/Pickup can be learned. If one can isolate the attraction triggers extant in women throughout the world, one can learn them. And since Non-Select Guys tend to be at the very least good students if not excellent ones, they make perfect candidates to learn the Pickup Arts. Again not to be rude, but I have to say that in all my years of reading and studying, there are relatively few Black Game and Pickup manuals that are actually well written (to date, and more than a half a century later, Iceberg Slim’s memoir “Pimp: The Story of My Life” remains among if not the best of the lot in my view) – hell, there are quite a few Black male dating coaches for Black men who don’t have any textbooks or manuals at all(!) – and it doesn’t make one bit of difference for many Black men students. At the risk of offending quite a few, I’m just gonna go on ahead and say it – if you’re a Non-Select Guy like me: curious, studious, serious – don’t bother wasting your time with the vast majority of the Black “mackin’ manuals”. You’ll do a lot better sticking to the aforementioned short booklist above, and you’ll cover more ground in a faster amount of time, too.

3. Finally, because Game/Pickup WORKS. I demonstrated this last fall in a completely unscripted, totally unexpected “live fire test” of my Game and Pickup skills; Oshay Duke Jackson had me on his show to discuss how and why Non-Select Guys shouldn’t bother with dating apps and online dating services like Match.com, and he suddenly sprung a live test of my abilities to backup my claim of being a newly minted dating coach for Black men. He selected a lady who, interestingly enough, had herself interviewed a noted Black male dating coach and was at the time, the first time he’d ever been interviewed by a Black woman presenter. After a request by several Black men in the audience to give a demonstration of his much-lauded method on the lady in question, he went to work – and it went over like a lead balloon. In fact, you can checkout the “taste test” for yourself. What this “compare and contrast” side by side test proves, is that Game and Pickup are something that falls outside of the usual Black guy’s balliwick that I discussed earlier – which is to rely on purely surface level characteristics. Game and Pickup on the other hand, are serious topics rooted in actual scientific research – and as you can clearly see, works. After all, if you can make a Black woman involuntarily “belly laugh”, you’re on your way to a nice evening, indeed – compare and contrast to the other guy (“Dating Coach Taster’s Choice”, YouTube, Jul 29, 2020).

Who would you rather be?

The times are a’changing – not only are more and more Black men interested in relationships, but I have it on very good authority that major players in the “Black Love Machine” are attempting to pivot to capture this growing market. How that ultimately shakes out remains to be seen – but what can’t be denied is the facts on the ground that have been previously laidout in today’s column. Don’t allow the naysayers of the Black Manosphere or anywhere else to psyche you out of learning the Pickup Arts, gentlemen – it’s your birthright to TRULY “self-improve”!

Now adjourn your asses…

Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, newly minted dating coach and soon to be author. You can catch his daily live shows on the global livestreaming radio website Mixlr, as well as the all-new members-only Obsidian Radio Zoomcast, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

Facebook Comments