The Infamous ‘Double Standard’: Women and Promiscuity

Nude Sistahs
Many men in society do not want women to exhibit the same promiscuous behavior as themselves. Is this hypocritical on behalf of men?

There was once a rapper who said that all men need a minimum of four women in their lives:

  • A long-term girlfriend or wife type
  • A long-term mistress or ‘side piece’ type
  • A short-term ‘booty call only’ type that will be replaced by a new booty call partner every so many days, weeks, or months
  • A long-term ‘just friends only’ type who is a combination of an ‘emotionally empathetic listening ear’ as well as a financially generous ‘Sugar Mama’ type who provides financial favors or short-term loans to men in times of need

Here is the potential problem for many men, assuming these four archetypes are fairly valid:  What if your long-term girlfriend or wife is some other man’s mistress or side piece?  What if your long-term girlfriend or wife is another man’s short-term ‘booty call only’ type?  Questions to marinate on, huh?

UNDERSTANDING DR. SIGMUND FREUD’S ‘MADONNA / WHORE COMPLEX’

The legendary psychologist, Dr. Sigmund Freud, asserted in the 19th Century that there is one psychological and sexual issue that will affect just about all men’s behavior toward women, and this is what he referred to as The Madonna / Whore Complex.  What exactly does it mean for a man to suffer from The Madonna / Whore Complex?

Dr. Freud said that all (heterosexual) men will typically seek out a minimum of two types of women in their life:

  1. One woman who is a prudish, strictly-monogamy oriented ‘good girl’ type who shares many of the personality traits and the moral character of their beloved mother (assuming that the man did not have a dysfunctional relationship with his mother or stepmother);
  2. Another woman who for all practical purposes is the antithesis of his beloved mother or stepmother;  More specifically, a woman who is extremely open-minded, free-spirited, erotically uninhibited (i.e., kinky), and to one degree or another, promiscuous and/or polyamorous;

Woman #1 is known as the “Madonna” archetype, or the ‘desired virgin’ archetype.  This is a woman that ideally is a woman who is a virgin at the time a man proposes marriage to her, or at bare minimum, a woman who has only engaged in sexual activities with a man who was formerly her husband, her fiancé, or her long-term boyfriend;

Woman #2 is known as the “Whore” archetype.  This is a woman that is viewed by men as “unmarriageable,” but ideal for short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex activities.

ENTER THE CONCEPT OF SEXUAL DUPLICITY

I have already written at least one other article regarding the concept of sexual duplicity (click here).  This concept is directly related to the Dr. Freud’s Madonna / Whore Complex.

You see, there was a time centuries ago when many women conveniently fell into one of the two aforementioned archetypes (i.e., either the ‘good girl’ archetype or the promiscuous ‘whore’ or ‘slut’ archetype).  If women still very neatly fell into those two categories today, then dating choices for men would be fairly easy.  The vast majority of men would simply ‘sow their wild oats’ with the women who were kinky and promiscuous and/or polyamorous, and then once they were ready to settle down, get married, and raise a family, they would find a prudish, strictly monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ type to propose marriage to.

Not so fast.

Among other factors, what is known as the Second Wave of Feminism combined with what is known as The Sexual Revolution (or ‘Free Love Movement’) drastically modified the way women viewed their own sexuality during that period between roughly 1960 and 1974.

Without getting too lengthy or too academic, what essentially happened during that fifteen-year period is that many of the women who were previously of the ‘good girl’ mindset slowly but surely began to embrace the idea of becoming more open-minded, free-spirited, and erotically uninhibited.  Conversely, many of the women who were previously of the ‘I-am-only-good-for-non-relationship sex’ types began to raise their self-esteem and declare that they deserved to have men treat them like long-term girlfriend material and/or wife material just like the ‘good girl’ types.

The end result?  Sexually duplicitous behavior on behalf of women.

MOST (HETEROSEXUAL) MEN ARE SEXUALLY HYPOCRITICAL

The problem is not necessarily with women, but with men.  Yes, I said it.  Most men are inherently hypocritical when it comes to passing judgment on women’s sexuality.  This is one of the primary reasons why women tend to exhibit sexually duplicitous behavior.

Many men want to engage in short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with another man’s wife, mother, sister, or daughter, but many of these same men very much frown on the idea of their own wife, mother, sister, or daughter enthusiastically engaging in short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with some other man that their wife, long-term girlfriend, or female relative might be genuinely attracted to sexually.

Are you THAT guy?

If you are, you are part of the problem.  Why should you be able to pursue multiple women to engage in casual sex with you, but then feel free to turn around and harshly criticize women who pursue multiple men for casual sex enjoyment and orgasmic pleasure?  If you as a man are exhibiting this type of behavior, then you are exhibiting the behavior of a blatant sexual hypocrite.

As a man, you will never be at peace until you eliminate all of your hypocritical thoughts and attitudes regarding women’s sexuality.  You need to work on the negative effects of the Madonna / Whore Complex that you have going on in your head.

As they say, what is good for the gander (male) … is good for the goose (female).  If men do not allow women to freely express their sexuality without guilt or shame, then many women will continue to be sexually duplicitous with the men they deal with.  In the end, this means that one man’s wife … may end up becoming another man’s mistress or on-the-side booty call.  Isn’t life grand?

More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions.  Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships.  If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks.  Currie will be a featured speaker at the 10th Anniversary Edition of The 21 Convention in Orlando, Florida (USA).  For more information, visit https://the21convention.org/arc

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About Alan Roger Currie 42 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at coaching@modeone.net
  • I am confused Alan. Are you saying that it is men’s fault that women are promiscuous?

  • Lisa B.

    Great article Mr. Currie!

  • Michelle

    I hate men who slut shame women.

    • 2pacck

      Because most women are sluts, the sheets have been pulled off, men are no longer fooled!

    • harold

      Edit:

      You hate the men that women want that slut shame but will happily use her to get his rocks off but not to put a rock on her finger

      So when a desirable man judges you as sex partner but not wife material that grinds your gears.

    • MannyF

      Do you hate women who slut shame women?

  • 2pacck

    As long as men create, invent, innovate, protect,provide (taxation included),build (has a women EVER built a skyscraper), and keep societies protected we can so whatever the hell we want! Women only offer childbirth and that will soon be replaced with artificial wombs. They bring nothing to the table so men have the right to judge them while not judging themselves because we earned it.

  • Pn Riddle

    A lot of food for thought Alan. I love reading your articles.

  • jibon nessa

    Most interesting article Alan

  • harold

    Ironically its the men who CAN be promiscuous that women are most disturbed at being judged by because those are the men wanted by girls for sex AND relationships.

    Who do you think women care most about being judged by the virginal science club president or the college quarterback who slept with the whole cheerleaders squad? Which one would be more sought after as a serious boyfriend or husband?

    Now who do you think women will get most indignant at for having a preference for relatively chaste women in the context of a relationship?

    The virginal nerd wouldn’t criticize a womans sexual past anyway because to him something is better than palmella and her 5 sisters. So in the rare event a girl does show him sexual attention, he aint trying to rock the boat.

    Only the abundance of thirsty men allow women to get away with being promiscous and still be considered wife material

  • MannyF

    Its not a double standard nor hypocritical because men and women are different. They can not be held to the same standard. Women hold the sex card. They don’t have to work hard for it. Men generally pursue women, not the other way around. Women simply accept or reject. Its easy for women to get sex, and people don’t have respect for things that anyone can do. Its harder for men to get sex, this is why people have more respect for men who can bed multiple women.

    Anyone can behave how they wish they just have to deal with the consequences. And you can’t force people don’t have respect for you.

    • harold

      Its funny how double standards are unfair if men benefit. I was at a funeral and it was crowded and the church ran out of seats. So the preacher gets up and says its a shame how “these ladies are standing while yall men are sitting” I thought to myself that I got my seat fair and square. Now none of the women objected to this. And it wasnt the point of the seat because it didnt hurt me to stand it was the point of the blatant expectation that I surrender my seat because I have a penis. How many women will object to that double standard?

  • Mario Rodriguez

    Moooooooooooode Oooooooooone!

  • lisa tyler

    Most interesting article Alan

  • : jonathan

    mode one exposes closet sluts!

  • Ricky

    Alan is a male feminist who panders to women lol

  • DoubleD

    not too many madonna good girl types left in the world

  • Amber Rose

    I am a slut and I am proud of it!! LOL

  • Draygold

    I agree with you Alan. I know men who want to bang other men’s sisters and daughters, but they do not want other men even looking at their sisters or daughters #hypocritical

  • Anderson

    Alan, wouldn’t you agree that men are born to be more promiscuous than women? I don’t think promiscuity is natural for women. They have to carry babies in their womb for nine months. Your thoughts?

    • Men and women are both born with promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies. Only social programming prevents women from acting on their promiscuous impulses many times.

    • MannyF

      Women are hypergamous, they want to mate with the strongest males and will go from man to man to achieve this goal.

  • MGTOW4LIFE

    What a stupid article. The writer of this article is attempting to defend sluts, and you cannot defend sluts

  • bIG dAVE

    Bravo on point y excellent article Mr. ARC!!!

    And, No I am not that guy 😎. I am proud to say I am not part of the problem y intentionally to my best of knowledge y recollection have made great efforts to never messed with or fuck another man’s woman or property (wife) because of my personal experiences and what I witnessed e never messed with another man’s purse a woman or property because of my personal experiences and what I witnessed in my life time…

    I have been a victim of it and I’ve seen in my own family, the men boasting about fucking another man’s wife or girlfriend😣… so no I’m not the problem– I’m about to solutions… More importantly, in some instances, that shit can put you in the hospital, jail or fatally end your life ducking with another man’s woman, period!