Most Women Desire One Man for Each of Their Needs

Issa Dee (Actress Issa Rae) desires Lawrence (Actor Jay Ellis) as her long-term romantic companion and future husband, but she has also engaged in a few short-term erotic trysts with Daniel (Actor Y'lan Noel, in the upper right inset box) on the side in the HBO romantic dramedy, Insecure

Approximately six weeks ago, on the suggestion of Oshay Duke Jackson (who happens to be the creator and Online Editor-in-Chief of The Negro, I began podcasting again.  Previously, I was the host of an internet talk radio show & audio podcast program titled Upfront & Straightforward which ran from June 2007 thru June 2016.  I also have hosted an Adults Only (i.e., X-rated and risqué) podcast program since July 2009 titled The Erotic Conversationalist.

This new podcast program of mine is in video form via the YouTube platform (warning: my video podcasts include a high degree of profanity and sexually explicit language) and is mainly geared toward single heterosexual men who find themselves feeling a wee bit confused and frustrated in today’s ever-so-challenging 21st Century dating scene.  As of the date of this article, I have completed sixteen installments of my new video podcast program.

Arguably my most controversial video podcast episode to date is one entitled ‘The Myth of the Prudish & Monogamous Good Girl.’  I have received more feedback on this video podcast than just about any other installment of my program to date.  What surprised me about the feedback I have received so far is that so many men (primarily men who are young and somewhat naïve about the sexually duplicitous nature of most women) had no idea that women are just as sexual as the vast majority of men are.  Some men who wrote me genuinely believed that either a) women were nowhere near as interested in engaging in sexual activities as men were, or even more so, b) women were not really interested in sex at all.

Note:  I would suggest that if this is the very first article of mine that you have read on The Negro, that you first read a handful of my previous articles that will relate to much of the content of this one:

Alpha males vs. Beta males

Sexual Duplicity: Women and Their Prudish Facades

The Appeal of Your Sexual Companionship vs. Your Non-Sexual Companionship

How the Manosphere Contributed to Today’s Animosity Between Men and Women

4 Factors that Fuel Men and Women’s Desire for Sex


If you are even a little bit ‘religious’ and/or spiritual, let me ask you a question:  What kind of “God” (or Divine Higher Power) would create a species with two totally different sets of genitalia, without also creating an equal amount of sexual desire in both the male and female gender of this species?  Please marinate on that question for a few minutes.

It would not make sense for a ‘God’ to create a species, with only the male gender maintaining a strong desire for sex … but the female gender of that same species having little or no desire to engage in sexual activities.  This would decrease the chances of reproduction of the species.

According to most anthropologists and, the modern human being has been in existence for just over 200,000 years.  The idea of monogamous marriages has only been promoted in society for approximately 4,500 years (according to many historians).  Before that, just about all human beings were promiscuous, polygamous, and polyamorous.


Are most of you familiar with the term ‘pretentious?’  To be ‘pretentious’ is essentially the same thing as being ‘snobbish’ or ‘uppity.’  Arguably the primary period that heavily encouraged men and women to marry someone with a similar family background as themselves and who were of the ‘same socio-economic class’ was that period between roughly 1837 and 1901, which is known as The Victorian Era.

Most ‘socially refined’ (i.e., pretentious) women of the Victorian Era believed that women who had promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies should remain single and unmarried for their entire life.  The pretentious women of this era definitely did not believe in the idea of promiscuous ‘whores,’ ‘harlots,’ and ‘sluts’ being proposed to by men of a certain social status. Similarly, they did not believe that any man who had wealth, power, and status should marry a woman from a poor and/or uneducated background.

Most women in this period of history believed that only women from middle-class, upper-middle-class, and wealthy families were ideal candidates for marriage and that ideally, the first-time bride should be a virgin who had no former lovers whatsoever.


For approximately the first 50-59 years of the 20th Century, most American men and women adopted the social and sexual morals & values of men and women in Europe, and Great Britain in particular.  Women were encouraged to ‘save themselves’ for marriage (i.e., remain a virgin until their wedding night), and their ‘reward’ would be that they would be in a position to attract a husband who was handsome, financially self-sufficient, intelligent, educated, and from a middle-class, upper-middle-class, or wealthy family background.

As I mention in my book, The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Marriage in Today’s Society, the top period in American society that most drastically altered the sexual morals, values and ethics between men and women, and profoundly modified the ‘normal’ dating rituals between single men and women, was the period between 1960 and 1974.

After this period concluded, women in society were now different.  Women no longer felt obligated to ‘save themselves’ for marriage and avoid premarital sex.  Similarly, women no longer placed a high degree of emphasis on strict monogamy.  Beginning with no later than 1975, women felt free to engage in sexual activities with multiple men (of various races and ethnicities), men and women, or even exclusively other women.


My book, The Beta Male Revolution, goes into more detail, but here is the simplistic explanation for how the dating scene between single men and women has evolved:

  1. Beginning with no later than 1975, the vast majority of women in society no longer feel any need or obligation to postpone their first sexual experiences until their first marriage;
  2. Beginning with no later than 1975, a great number of women in society have regularly engaged in promiscuous and/or polyamorous sex with multiple men;
  3. Beginning with no later than 1975, most women no longer feel the need to seek out a man who is the ‘total package’; Women can ‘compartmentalize’ different men to fulfill and satisfy different needs and desires of theirs.

The biggest point all men need to take heed to is point #3.  If women have multiple desires and needs for male companionship, they will seek out several men to fulfill those sexual, non-sexual, and financial-related desires and needs.  Some examples:

  • One or more men to satisfy their sexual needs ONLY;
  • One or more men to provide them with some degree of financial assistance and support (especially if they have one or more children);
  • One man (or maybe two or three men if the woman is polyamorous) to provide them with a combination of sexual and non-sexual companionship for that period when their looks begin to fade, their sex appeal diminishes, and they consciously realize that they are growing older;
  • One or more men to flatter them and entertain them when they are bored and/or lonely (and in-between romantic & sexual relationships);
  • One or more men to act as an ‘emotionally empathetic listening ear’ when they need to vent about their problems, frustrations, and disappointments;
  • One or more men to help them non-financially (e.g., lift heavy boxes for them, fix their car, help them move stuff into a new house or apartment, etc);
  • One or more men to accompany them to various social events without having to worry about that man requesting sex from them;

The list could go on, but I will stop there.  The question for you is … what category are YOU in for the women in your life?  In my book, The Beta Male Revolution, I generally describe men in the following categories:

Total Alpha male:   The type of men that women gravitate toward for sexual enjoyment and satisfaction ONLY;

Alpha Male with a few Beta traits & tendencies:  The type of men that women strongly desire to be their long-term romantic companion (i.e., ‘boyfriend’), fiancé, and/or husband

Beta Male with a few Alpha traits & tendencies:  The type of men that women strongly desire to be either their financially generous ‘provider’ (i.e., ‘Sugar Daddy’), a financially generous husband and father, and/or a caring stepfather to the children they already have by another man

Total Beta male:  The type of men that women seek out for strictly non-physical, non-sexual, purely platonic male companionship

Some women only seek out the companionship of one of these four types of men, while other women seek out the male companionship of at least one man from all four categories.

Other Related articles:  FunClubbing: When Men Place Themselves in a Woman’s ‘Friend Zone’ | A Simp and His Money are Soon PartedWhat Does It Mean When a Woman ‘Hits the Wall?’ | Delusional Women Always Want To Choose Their Dating Rituals À La Carte Style

For my male readers, please marinate on everything I have presented to you in this article.  Once you begin to ‘connect the dots,’ you will slowly but surely begin to understand why women can often times be so confusing and frustrating with their behavior, and why their behavior often comes across as inconsistent, contradictory, and hypocritical.

Enjoy your week and your Memorial Day holiday weekend.

More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions.  Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships.  If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks.

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About Alan Roger Currie 91 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at