Just about everyone in this country is discussing and debating the U.S. Supreme Court confirmation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh. Anyone who has been keeping up with the drama also knows about the testimony of one Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
The reality is, no one will ever know if Dr. Ford was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about her allegations that Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her while she was in high school. Similarly, we will never know for a fact if Kavanaugh is totally innocent of those accusations and allegations expressed by Dr. Ford.
The vast majority of the women in society believe Dr. Ford’s testimony, and empathize with the fact that she felt the need to keep this story of sexual assault to herself until recently. Even many men believe and empathize with Dr. Ford.
This begs the (rhetorical) question(s): Are women always telling the truth when it comes to accusations and allegations of sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, and sexual assault? Or are there times when a woman might feel the need to fabricate a story, or at minimum, present modified or exaggerated details of an alleged sexual harassment incident or an instance of sexual assault?
The answers are “no” to the first question above, and “yes” to the second one.
In 1995, I was once fired from a job in Beverly Hills, California because a Caucasian woman, who happened to be a lesbian, accused me of expressing some harsh, homophobic insults to her while attempting to sell her a new cellular phone.
What really happened: During my sales pitch, the woman mentioned that she was a lesbian, and I responded with, “That is most interesting! (lighthearted) but shame on you … you are too attractive and sexy to be denying heterosexual men the opportunity to possibly date you and connect with you romantically.” She actually giggled at my comment (which was witnessed by two of my co-workers at the time), and she said, “Why, thank you for the compliment!” Later on, she found out that her application for a cellular phone was not approved because she had less-than-average credit, and she left our retail store ticked off about the fact that one of my female co-workers inadvertently announced in front of all of my co-workers that she had bad credit (my female co-worker was supposed to call me over to her, and then whisper in my ear if she had above-average credit, average credit, or less-than-average credit).
What this female customer CLAIMED happened (in a letter to my district manager): A few weeks later, my store manager brought me into his office to inform me that I was being suspended, with pay, indefinitely. When I asked him why, he told me that the Caucasian lesbian had written a letter stating that I said all sorts of inappropriate homophobic comments to her. In her letter, she said that once she informed me that she was a lesbian, I said, “What? A lesbian? What woman in her right mind would choose to be a lesbian? You know, all Gay men and Lesbian women are going to burn in hell! You know that don’t you?!? I have no love for the Gay & Lesbian Community at all. I think you all are sinners, and sinners are going to burn in hell!” I could not believe my eyes when I read her letter. This was the first time in my life that I had a woman just blatantly lie about me and the things I said to her in a formal letter to a boss, manager, or supervisor of mine in a manner like this.
Sure enough, a few weeks later, I was fired. I ended up gaining at least a small degree of revenge and vindication when I had to defend myself during a California Unemployment Hearing. I had already began receiving unemployment compensation, but my former employer challenged my right to receive it (because if my former employer did not challenge my unemployment earnings, that would be like almost admitting that I got fired for “unfair” reasons). During the hearing, I went up against two attorneys from a prestigious law firm (I could not afford to hire an attorney at the time), but I subpoenaed two of my former co-workers, and my two co-workers testified that this Caucasian lesbian was smiling and giggling throughout the course of my conversation with her in our retail cellular phone store. Long story short, I ended up winning my case and I continued to receive unemployment compensation for roughly the next five months or so.
My lesson learned: Many women, when feeling vengeful and vindictive, will blatantly lie about a man’s actions and accuse him of doing things and saying things that he never did or said.
One feature-film that highlights this lesson very well is the 2014 film, Gone Girl, which was based on the best-selling book by Author Gillian Flynn.
Gone Girl is the ‘chick flick’ that really is not a chick flick at all. Quite frankly, at least half of the women who viewed this movie did not like it (I had a number of female friends who told me that they walked out of the movie theater midway through the film). To take it a step further, if a man had written the novel that this film was based on, and then later wrote the screenplay for this film, 90% chance, this film would have never been made. If it had been made, feminist groups would have been protesting this movie for weeks … even months. The male novelist and screenwriter would have then been publicly branded as a ‘woman-hater’ and a ‘misogynist’ for sure. So, all that to say, thank goodness a woman wrote this story and later, the screenplay for this film. Gone Girl could be described as 1/3 romantic drama, 1/3 crime-suspense thriller, and 1/3 dark-themed comedy.
Author Esther Vilar had a book published in 1971 entitled, The Manipulated Man. The book was considered extremely controversial at the time (and to a degree, still is), and Vilar received hate mail and even death threats from women who were hardcore feminists. Why did these women hate Vilar and her book so much?
In the book, Vilar basically asserts that the vast majority of women are extremely calculating and highly manipulative. Vilar spells out in her book that she believes most women ‘get over’ on men (and society as a whole) by presenting themselves as ‘innocent victims’ to the big, bad bullies known as ‘men.’ Vilar goes on to say that many women manipulate men to receive financial favors, to gain employment offers, to get pregnant, and even to get married.
If you were to take the primary themes from Vilar’s book, and throw in one part American Beauty, one part The Invention of Lying, one part Body Heat, as well as some of the assertions presented in the books Radical Honesty and my own book, The Possibility of Sex, then the end result would more-than-likely be a story and/or screenplay similar to that of Gone Girl.
Generally speaking, most members of the media as well as most members of society as a whole (particularly the women of society) are always going to give women the benefit of the doubt. Nineteen out of every twenty times.
For married men reading this review: Let me throw a “hypothetical scenario” at you. Let’s say you’re in a bad marriage. You got caught cheating on your wife, and now she not only resents you for it, but flat-out hates you for it. On top of this, she has been wanting you to get her pregnant, but you have refused for years.
What if this woman … your wife … was so hateful and manipulative that she decided to ‘fake’ her own death, and make it look like you abducted her and then subsequently murdered her?
Realistically, unless some concrete evidence came forward that proved your wife set you up and framed you for her alleged murder, the general public would assume you actually murdered your wife even if there was no factual evidence available to prove that you were guilty.
This scenario represents the main plot in this David Fincher-directed film.
Marinate on that.
I applaud Hollywood for producing and distributing Gone Girl, but let’s be real: There have been dozens, if not hundreds of films that highlight the dark side of men in their romantic and sexual relationships with women, but only a handful of movies have been made over the years where the woman is more so the “bad guy” in the plot (three movies that come to mind are Atonement, Pretty Persuasion, and Fatal Attraction; see my previous article that is related).
This film should be required viewing for any single, engaged, or married man who is naïve enough to buy into the belief that “all women are sweet, innocent, beautiful creatures” who can do no wrong and who are incapable of lying. The reality is, there are ‘good’ men in society … and there are ‘bad’ men in society. Similarly, there are women with great moral character and integrity … and there are women who are super scandalous, calculating, conniving, venomous, vindictive, and extremely manipulative and materialistic.
No movie that has been released in recent years that points out this fact more than the film Gone Girl.
Note: Columnist Alan Roger Currie will not have a published article posted on the following dates due to his travel schedule and/or vacation plans:
- Monday, October 15, 2018
- Monday, October 22, 2018
- Monday, November 5, 2018
- Monday, November 26, 2018
- Monday, December 24, 2018
- Monday, December 31, 2018
Senior writer Alan Roger Currie was recently named the 2017 Charles Tyler Freelance Writer & Columnist of the Year for the NegroManosphere.com, and he was also named the NegroManosphere.com’s 2017 Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube and 2017 Black Male YouTube Personality of the Year. More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. Currie was the first African-American to be a featured speaker at The 21 Convention and will be a featured speaker again this year in October in Orlando, Florida. If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE