When Women Say “Not Me”


I’m going to tell a story.  I was on a relationship discussion panel one time.   The conversation as you can imagine was heated.   At one point a woman stood up during the forum, point at me and said, “Men always throw money at women.  Women don’t like that.”   She got mad when I said, “Women take the money.”   Even a few women co-signed me.   What she said was along the lines of something many women say when someone points certain behavior in women.  The statement is usually, “I don’t do that and none of my friends do that.”


I don’t do relationship forums like I used to do.   If I do anything in the future it will likely be for men only.   The problem is that many women are not honest in their discussions about male/female relationships in public.  They are very honest in private if they trust the man but not in public.

At another forum where the women knew going in the discussion would be about sex all the women except three were unusually quiet.   One woman was a friend who was giving me a hard time to entertain herself and because the other women were so quiet.   It was all love with her.  Another woman was just sexually free and didn’t care what anyone thought.   I respected her honesty.   The third woman was the most interesting.

This woman argued with everything I said.  She even got loud at times.   Her main argument was that she nor any of her friends had a man in their lives they used just for sex.   She insisted that she and her friends would never do something like that.   After the forum when it was just the two of us outside and out of earshot of other women she admitted that she had a muscular young boy she used for sex.   She said most of the other women in the forum probably had something similar.   When I asked her why she was dishonest she said, “We didn’t want the men in the forum to think we were freaks.”

Women as a whole wear masks.  Those masks are there to hide their true sexual nature and sometimes other things about them as well.   Women feel that it’s in their best interests to hide their nature because they know most men will not consider them wife material.   The issue is when men see past those masks.

Many men will meet a woman he feels is a good woman.   He’s ready to take her home to meet his mother.   The woman usually works hard to maintain her good woman image in the man’s mind. This usually works until the mask starts to crack and he doesn’t recognize what’s behind the mask.

Women collectively want to maintain that mask.  So when a man goes on social media and discusses what he was seen behind the mask many women will feel the need to defend herself and her friends.  They may deflect to the man’s character to suggest that something is wrong with him.

When women do this it’s simply a case of a hit dog hollering.  After all unless the man specifically called her name, a particular woman doesn’t need to say, “Not me.”   It’s the old saying, “If it don’t apply, let it fly.”   Women have to understand that they tell on themselves when they try to act like there’s something exceptional about them or their friends.   Indeed many women defending their friends don’t know exactly what their friends do in private.

Women need to be honest.   If they get down a certain way they need to own up to it.  If they don’t their actions will speak loudly for them.   Saying “not me”  only makes them look guilty.


Visit Rom at www.romwills.com


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