You Are Not the Father

Those infamous five words, “you are not the father,” have become a part of the national lexicon.   Whether it’s on a show like Maury or my favorite, Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court, people across the country have become familiar with that phrase.   Of course there is some entertainment value when those words are spoken and a hysterical woman runs backstage on Maury.    Despite this there is a bigger issue.   There is a child who doesn’t know who the identity of their father.   The issue of paternity fraud is something that must be addressed as a society.

I know some people are going to get mad with what I’m about to say but women should be leading the fight against paternity fraud.   Paternity fraud is 100 percent committed by women.   Men do not have children and though there are people who want to say that genders are fluid, biologically the laws of nature don’t change.   Only women can have children.   Only women can either lie or not be sure as to the father of those children.   This is one area that women cannot deflect.

Another reason women should lead the charge against paternity fraud is that it really makes women look bad.   Just like women ask men to deal with men engaged in negative behavior, women need to do the same with other women.   At the heart of paternity fraud is dishonesty.   Paternity fraud results from a women cheating, a women dealing with multiple men, or a woman putting a baby on one man.   Women typically do this with the husband, main boyfriend, or in many cases the man most likely to responsible for the child.   All of this involves dishonesty which can have devastating consequences when the truth comes to light.

In a relationship trust is more important than love.   When a person cheats on their mate the issue is more a breaking of trust than it is about love.   Paternity fraud is ultimately about a breach of trust.    Men learn not to trust women because of paternity fraud.

Speaking of men, paternity fraud is particularly devastating.   The saying is, “momma’s baby, daddy’s maybe.”   Men biologically cannot have children.   When a man deposits his seed into a woman he is trusting that she is carrying HIS child.   Just like women have a drive to be a mother, men have a drive to be a father.   That’s why when a child is born the man looks for signs that the child resembles him in some way.   That allows the man form a bond with that child.  It hurts a man’s spirit to find out a child he has bonded with is not his biological offspring.     This goes into who is hurt the most by paternity fraud, the children.

While men are dancing on talk show stages and women are running backstage crying hysterically the question has to asked, “What about the children?”   The children are the ones who really get hurt in all this.   Let’s be real.  When a woman learns that the man in question is not the father it’s rare she wanted love from the man anyway.   When women come on these shows they are more concerned about support, especially monetary support.   So while they are acting up and the men who dodged the bullet are breaking out fancy dance moves there are children who do not know the identity of their fathers.   Children need their fathers in their lives.   Boys need a man to guide them to adulthood and girls need to be shown the type of men they should with as they grow older.   Plus many children will bond with whatever man is in the picture.  It’s traumatic for a man to leave because they find out they are not the father.

This blog is just a brief statement regarding paternity fraud.   This is an issue that requires major discussion across many mediums.   Personally I think it should be criminalized.   Maybe then many women will understand the consequences of committing this heinous act.

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